The Simple Pleasures in Life # 2

Wow, TWO updates in ONE day! I'm just trying to make up for the month I didn't write ANYTHING.

6. Finding a website where you can make your own superhero in just 3 easy steps! Try it! It's fun!

http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/pb/95060160097026,print.htm

I present to you my superhero:
Name: Field Marshal of Deception
Powers: Post-cognition and super-ventriloquism
Weakness: Poor taste in men
Origin: Parents were killed by an Amish community

VILLAINS BEWARE!! FIELD MARSHAL OF DECEPTION WILL PROJECT HER VOICE AT YOU! AND SHE HAS VISIONS OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED ALREADY!

See. Fun.


7. Watching Smallville. OHMYGOSH! The drama! Season 6 is exceptionally good so far! A quick recap (spoiler warning, not that any of you probably care about being spoiled):

There's a new hero in town who is really showing up Clark!

And now he's gone.

Chloe is dating Jimmy Olsen!

No wait, he's gone, too, now.

Lionel Luthor is good!

No, wait, he's evil!

No, wait, he's......erm.....the jury's still out on that one...

Lana's pregnant with Lex's baby!

No, it turns out Lex just injected her with hormones to make it seem like she was pregnant so she would agree to marry him.

Lex and Lana are married!

No....oh, wait...yes, that one's still true.

And through it all, Clark is as clueless and whiny as ever. Doesn't matter, he's pretty to look at, and I watch the show for the other characters anyway. (Chloe rocks!)

8. Getting new comics. Yay!


Okay, that's enough for now. Once again, I might come up with some more as I continue to discover life's simple pleasures during this season of peace and joy.

Now get out of here! Don't you have a life? Go live it! GO!

Love,
Jules

The Simple Pleasures in Life

1. Waking up to find that you feel MUCH better after having spent the last three days being violently ill. (To be fair, I was only violently ill for the first 8 hours of the first day, but I didn't exactly feel like sunshine and roses on the following 2 days.)

2. Having that first cup of coffee since you've been sick and realizing that part of the fatigue you were feeling was actually just caffeine deprivation.

3. Pulling on a pair of pants that still have that just-out-of-the-drier-warmth in them! WOOHOO! WARM PANTS!

4. See number 3, but insert "socks" in place of "pants".

5. Practicing the Hallelujah Chorus at the top of your lungs while putting away your freshly laundered clothes. (Gotta get in shape for our annual sing along at 7am on Christmas morning!)

That's all for now, but I might post some more later when I have time.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Jules

Nothing to report...

AHHHHHHGGGGGRRRRR!!!!!!! Where does the time go? I think there must be some sort of time-sucking space worm that's permanently attached to my head. Naturally, such worms are invisible to the naked eye...my fully clothed eye, however, can see it just fine....

And, with that weird image in my head, let me continue on to say that nothing very interesting has happened. So, let me bore you:

I went to an audition, where nothing much happened...I went in, sang, went out.

I've been working like a madwoman...on Thursday, a bunch of Park Slope shops all agreed to stay open until 10pm to encourage people to shop locally. Many places also had big sales just for that night, but we'd just had an anniversary sale, so we served cookies and Prosecco, instead. (Prosecco is an Italian, bubbly, white wine, for those of you who don't know. It's good. Try some.)

I've finished Identical Strangers and have started An Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England. I'm enjoying it, so far. And, of course, I'm still reading comic books when they come out on Wednesdays. I like all the books I've been following so far, but I have just recently hit upon my favorite comic: Booster Gold - The greatest hero the world has never known! It's fantastic! Booster is kind of a bumbling hero. He's sort of inept at times, but his heart is in the right place. So far, his story line has made me laugh out loud and shed a tear. And I don't mean metaphorically. I mean literally. Do you need further clarification? I love Booster Gold. Those of you (nudge nudge, sis) who are looking to get into comics and don't know where to start, might want to start with Booster. He'll be gentle, I promise.

On top of all this, I spent last Tuesday doing all my Christmas shopping, and got it done. (Well, to be fair, I'd already done some of it, but still, it was quite a feat!) My presents are wrapped and sitting under the 3 foot tree my roommates and I got for the apartment.

That's all for now, I'm off to scrounge up some dinner, then probably turn in 'cause I'm BEAT! (It was rather busy in the store today.)

Later,
Jules

Booster Gold tries to out-drink Jonah Hex.

Lazy?

Me, lazy? Never....

OK, it's been a while since I've updated, but that's only 'cause I don't have any news. I haven't heard anything about the callback, and my life continues in much the same way it has done for a while. My visit home was brief, but relaxing (I spent most of it force-feeding a steady diet of Justice League and Batman cartoons to my sister, and massive dorkdom abounded).

And as soon as I got back, I went to work, and worked every day this week because Deirdre was sick.

Still, I did manage to get myself to the comic book shop, and lo and behold, I wasn't there two minutes when another girl walked in! A range of emotions overtook me: excitement, curiosity, jealousy... Wait a minute, I thought I was the token girl of my chosen comic book store! What is this hussy doing here? Gasp! What if she has been coming here longer than I have? Or what if she is here to replace me?

However, there was no need for me to fear. As she picked up a figurine and brought it to the counter she said, "I was in here with my BOYFRIEND, and he pointed this out, so I have to get it for him. 'Cause he's my BOYFRIEND and I'm such a good GIRLFRIEND to my BOYFRIEND."

Ahh, sweet relief. She's a one-timer.

Still, it irked and (dare I say) vexed me something fierce that she couldn't just buy the toy, but had to explain it away. "What this? No no no, this isn't for me...it's for my BOYFRIEND. I would never buy a ridiculous toy for myself, but you know boys, they love this sort of thing, so I guess I'll just have to live with it and then throw it out when we get married and it is time for the purging of all things dorky." Was she really so ashamed of being in a comic book store that she had to justify herself? Why? It was just the clerk and me, which one of us was she trying to impress? And, OK, I don't collect figurines like many comic nerds (except my Wolverine action figure...and Jafar...and Crazy Cat Lady...and my pirates...and that figure of Han Solo that was tragically lost in the hurricane, which I still cry over late at night when everything is quiet and I feel so alone...) but what is so shameful about buying a "toy" for yourself when you're an adult? Why do we all have to be so grown up all the time? Can't we be grown ups and still feed our inner child? Can't I enjoy thought-provoking novels (I really like Identical Strangers, by the way) and comic books without compromising my maturity points?

OK, I feel the subtext is rapidly becoming the text, here, so I'll stop ranting now. You get my point. I just can't help feeling that if more people would look seriously at Batman who does whatever it takes to save lives and stop the bad guys WITHOUT killing them, the world might be a better place. That is always the number one rule for superheros: No Killing. And that is a moral standard that I can really cling to in this world of ever-increasing chaos and violence. You should never descend to the level of the bad guys in order to take them out.

All right, I'm done. No more ranting, I promise.

And now, to lighten the mood, here is a video that I made! Yes, that's right, folks, I have started making videos that I put up on youtube. My computer came with software for editing home movies and I started fiddling around with it. This is the first one I really want to post here, but you can see the other two on youtube under ParkerPoyer, which is my username.

The Call Back

I went, I sang, I read, I left.

The director said, "Thanks Julia, that was great!"

'Great,' he said "Great!" Usually it's just, "OK, thanks. Bye." Or maybe, "That was good, thank you." But not "great!"

Anyway, I took that as a good sign. Whether or not it will result in my getting the job, I don't know, but it made me feel good about what I had done.

I don't know when I'll know, but I'll let you all know as soon as I know. You know?

While I wait, I will be in PA visiting the fam for Thanksgiving.

So, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! May you all stuff yourselves silly, then pass out on the couch.

Jules

Not Very Exciting News

OK, I don't want everyone to freak out over this, 'cause nothing is definite, yet.

Wait.

Let me start at the beginning...

I got an e-mail from a theatre company, inviting me to audition for their upcoming season. This is important for two reasons: one, THEY contacted ME, and two, I was going to be given an appointment time which meant a lot less stress on me.

The only trouble spot was that the audition was for Saturday, which is, of course, one of my work days. However, both Annette and Deirdre are extremely supportive of my pursuit of an acting career and told me not to even worry about it, that it was no problem, and that I could work part of the day, and then go to the audition whenever I needed. Yeah, they're wonderful. Plus, working right up until I had to leave meant that I was doing something other than waiting around being nervous, which helped tremendously.

I got to the audition 20 minutes early, and they were running ahead of schedule so the monitor told me I could go in and sing whenever I was ready. I went to the bathroom, composed myself, then told her I was ready. I sang Wild and Reckless (a favorite of mine) and was going to sing But Not For Me, when the casting director said "Do you have any Pop?" Oh God, I thought. Pop? I don't sing Pop! I only have classic musical theatre! Don't panic...

I looked frantically through my book. "Well, I have this...The Weekend of a Private Secretary." I took a moment to grin at the thought of Mary Katherine who always wants me to sing this song at auditions because she loves the way I do it.

Of course, he's never heard of it; no one has. But he tells me to give it a whirl, so I do. Then he says that he wants me to read some scenes. "You should read for Nick" (Alexander's brother. Oh, did I mention that I was dressed in my Goonies t-shirt, ripped jeans, and a baseball cap because all the parts I'm auditioning for are boy roles which are traditionally played by females?)
So I go back outside and get the pages for the scene from the monitor, and start looking them over. Another girl went in to sing while I was practicing, then I went back in and did the scene.

"OK, now I want you to read for Piglet." Back out I went, to get the Piglet scene in which Piglet is disguised as Roo to play a prank on Kanga, only to find that when he says the code word for when everyone is to jump out and yell "surprise, it was just a trick!" no one is there. He must now convince Kanga that he is not Roo, he is Piglet.

The first scene I read with the monitor, but for this one I read with the girl who sang after me. She was auditioning for Kanga.

Then he said he wanted us to read the Alexander and Alexander's mother scene. "I don't think Alexander is something we'd be looking at you (meaning me) for, but if you wouldn't mind sticking around to read with her..." Of course I didn't mind! The scenes were fun, and I was having a good time (something unheard of in the auditions I've been to...) so I stayed and did the scene.

OK, now that we're all caught up...

I got a callback. I just got an e-mail this morning telling me that they would like me to audition for the director. Next Saturday. SQUEAL!! Sorry, the excitment got away from me...

I don't want everyone to get their hopes up, because I still have a lot to get through before I'm finally offered a role, but it is exciting just to be called back!

And now, I have to wrap this up, because I have to go to work...

Love you all!

Jules

No no no

Let me explain.

One day, as my roommates and I were hanging out together, looking through Backstage for possible auditions, I picked up the subscription postcard (even though we don't need it 'cause we already have a subscription to Backstage) and started filling it out with the most ridiculous info I could think of. I named myself Fallulah Baker, and I live at 523 Norrington Rd. in Cowtown, MI. My e-mail is Bakeit99@cookers.com. I showed my roommates what I had done and now my name is Fallulah when I'm in the apartment. Becca and Billie made up identities too. Becca is now Theodoe (that's not a typo, there is no 'r' in Theodoe) Baker, my husband who actually lives next door, and Billie is our across-the-street neighbor, Muhollah Clementine. We then spent about three hours speaking with Southern dialects and pretending to be these people. Call us strange, accuse us of having too much time on our hands, but then admit that it might be fun to pretend to be someone else for a while. And then remember that the three of us want to play pretend professionally. Who wouldn't? No, we're not weird...we're actors.

Fallulah Baker

PS- Our apartment name is Hogwarts. Not very original, perhaps, but there you go.

Julia comes out of the Batcave...

Oh my gosh, so much to tell you!

Last Saturday I was invited to Annette's birthday party. Annette and Deirdre own the store in which I work. (It's just the three of us running the store, they don't have any other employees.) The party was at Deirdre's house and consisted of Deirdre and her husband, Vito; Annette with her husband, Phil; their friend Louise and her mother Ruth, and Louise's boyfriend Ralph. And me. Awkward!

No, I'm kidding. It was fun! Especially once we'd all had a bit of liquor... Ralph plays the guitar and they kept threatening to make me sing along with him. Finally, after much wine, Ralph went to get his guitar and some music books. And I sang. A lot. Sometimes Louise and I sang together, which was fun. Everyone was very nice and said that I had a lovely voice and why hadn't I been snatched up by Broadway yet? What they don't understand is that there are barrels of pretty young girls who can sing well and I'm just waiting for that big hand to reach in and pick me up and stick me in the frying pan with butter and a little garlic and....that sentence ended up in a different place from where it started...

Anyway. I had fun. And, it turns out that Louise sometimes works with this theatre company as a director. She was very impressed with my voice, so here's hoping she directs a show soon! Right now she's working on a documentary which she hopes to enter into a contest.

Then, on Monday, I went to a Halloween party with my roommate, Becca. This was a party of people my own age, all of whom had graduated from AMDA. I went as Batgirl. I found a black mask which was actually part of a male stripper costume (it came with tuxedo cuffs and a bow tie) but it was only $1, so I got it. Then I searched everywhere for a t-shirt with the bat-logo on it. I thought, "surely I'll be able to find a black t-shirt somewhere with the bat-symbol! And then it will be something I can wear whenever I want and not just on Halloween." But no. The only place I could find it was in the boy's section at Daffys. So I bought the largest size of boy's Batman pajamas I could get and hoped that the top would fit me. It did. Barely. The sleeves became 3/4 length on me, and the, erm, chest area was a bit snug, but otherwise it looked great! It's got the bat-symbol, a painted-on utility belt, and a small cape attached with velcro. There are pants too, but I barely squeezed into them, so I decided to wear my own black pants. My black boots completed the outfit. I know Becca took pictures, so I'll try to put one up.

Anyway, I got to see some people I haven't seen in a long while, and just generally relaxed and had fun.

Tuesday, Chris and I went to see Transformers in Imax. (I hadn't seen it yet. Not as lame as I was expecting...)

Wednesday, Chris and I went to the Park Slope Halloween parade. He was dressed like a pirate and I was in my Batgirl costume again. Surprisingly, I got more comments than he did. All these little kids kept exclaiming with delight "Look, it's Batgirl!"
I didn't see anyone else dressed as Batgirl. Lots of Wonder Women and Supergirls, but no Bats.

Next Saturday, I'm invited to another party at a friend of Annette's. Apparently they have it every year and there will be about 150 people there. The man who's hosting it used to perform on Broadway and there will probably be a lot of people there who are "in the business" so I'm looking at it as a way to make contacts and schmooze a bit. I've also been warned that there will be more singing, so I'll be prepared this time. Maybe warm up a little before I go...

Goodness! My life suddenly went from 0 to 90mph! But, you've got to just roll with it, I guess. It's just strange the way everything happens at once. My friend Phil called the other day, too, and I haven't heard from him in ages. We're tentatively making plans for Sunday with Mary Katherine. In which case, my weekend is booked, which hasn't happened in a while.

There. Now you're all caught up. Mostly. For more details about Chris, you'll have to either call or e-mail me. I'm not going to put anything else up here from that department.

Later,
Jules

Date Update

It was a very nice date.

And the rest is private, so butt out.

Just kidding!

We went to a diner where all the AMDA kids (including me when I still attended AMDA) hang out. We talked a lot and were both kind of hyper, or, at least, I know I was. Then we walked through Central Park until we got lost, which is always fun 'cause you never know where you'll end up! We found the carousel and took a ride. Chris named his horse Boris, and I named mine Helga. If you've ever ridden a carousel with me, you know that it is imperative that we name our noble steeds.

After that, we found a huge rock formation which overlooked the ice skating rink, so we sat and watched people skate (and occasionally fall) and talked some more. Then we took a taxi (he paid for everything, by the way; what a gentleman!) to South Street Seaport where he had rehearsal in a few hours. We walked on the dock and looked at the bridges and the water and it was all very beautiful. Then, he told me how to get back to Brooklyn and we parted ways.

It was very comfortable. Nary an awkward silence to be found. Although, there was a tense moment when he mentioned that his longest relationship lasted 9 months and a little siren went off in my head and I saw the bars slam home in front of my eyes and thought "Oh God! I'm trapped!

Commitment:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But then I calmed down and said in a reasonably steady voice "But we're just dating, right?"

Anyway, for now my phobia is being kept at bay enough that I agreed to another date. I just have to remember it's a date, not a marriage proposal.

Speaking of marriage, his last name is pronounced Ghoul-y, to rhyme with Julie. So if we did get married my name would be Julia Ghoul-y. That's right everyone, let out the big ol' yucks for that knee-slapper. Of course, there's no law that says I have to take his name. Walls...closing in.....shackle around...my leg.... Breathe, Julia, just breathe.

And now to answer some questions:

1. No, I have not seen Across the Universe, but it is on my list of movies to see in the near future. And, by the way, aren't you coming to NYC soon, Ashley?

2. Of course I watch Heroes! What kind of comic book nerd do you think I am?! And can we talk about Parkman's father? What is up with that?! I love that they put the episodes online so that I can watch them! And those of you who don't know what Jenna and I are talking about, I suggest you get online and start watching, 'cause it is truly a great show.

Finally, I will tell you what I did tonight, only because it involved something other than sitting in my room reading and/or watching something.

I went to a book reading/signing at my local B&N. It was for the book Identical Strangers about two twins separated at birth and how they found each other just 3 years ago. It's a true story and they co-wrote the book since both of them are writers (weird huh?). One of the twins has shopped at the store where I work for several years, and sent her newfound sister there, as well, when they realized they needed outfits for giving interviews and stuff while on their book tour. We promoted the reading at the store and all decided to go and show our support. It was very interesting, and I'm excited to start reading the book. I even got it signed!

Anyway, should be a good read, so all of you should pick it up and support them, 'cause the more money they get, the more they can spend at my store! Right? There was logic in there somewhere...

Later,
Jules

Pointless Update

I have a date! It's on Tuesday, and I'm sure there will be plenty of awkward pauses for me to spin into an amusing tale later, so stay tuned!

Same bat-time, same bat-channel!

Jules

Sorry...

Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that if you don't get a call later in the day, or maybe the next day, you can safely assume that you didn't get the part. So you can all stop holding your breath. BREATHE, GOSH DARN YOU!!!!! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME NOW! LIVE!!!!!!!!

Everyone OK? Good.

I don't know when my next audition will be, but I've got my eyes and other senses open and waiting, so if something comes along, I'll be ready.

In the meantime, I'm going to go watch some Buffy, since I FINALLY got season 7 back from Mary Katherine, who borrowed it for over a year. Of course, now I've lent season 6 to Bobby...who knows if I'll ever see it again. Note to self: stop giving away your Buffy.

Later,
Jules

Audition #3 and #4

I'm combining these because number three was just as uninteresting as the last one. Once again, it involved me dragging myself out of bed at a not-quite-ridiculous-but-early-enough-thank-you-very-much hour, arriving at the audition only to leave again without having been seen. This was sort of my own fault though, cause both Becca and I had to work at 3:00 and the audition didn't begin until 1:00, which meant that we had to be the first people to run to the sign-up sheet, braving wayward elbows and piercing spike heels, so that we could actually audition. Apparently we aren't tough (or desperate) enough, because a lot of skinny white girls managed to push us to the back of the line. (And if you think that makes us wimps, I defy you to try and take on an actress who has spent at least four hours on her hair and probably hasn't eaten for a week so she'd be skinny enough to audition for Disney. Scary.) Anyway, we decided to cut our losses and went to Dunkin Donuts instead.

However, this morning (or afternoon, it's hard to tell when you're locked in a room for long stretches of time, waiting for them to call your name) I actually got to sing for some people. And they were people who could make decisions about casting me, not just people on the street.
We were instructed to only sing 8 bars, which, if you know anything about music, is reeaaaalllly short. Usually casting directors ask for 16 bars, or, if you're lucky, 32. But if they're pressed for time, or have a very specific picture of what they're looking for (or both) they don't need more than 8 to decide whether they want you or not. So, intellectually, I understand. As a performer, however, I'm certain that it is impossible to understand everything about a person (including personality, intellect, and talent) in such a short time. But, they have been doing this for a lot longer than I have, and I have a bit of an edge because all of the people involved in the project teach at AMDA. (I didn't know any of them personally, because I wasn't in their classes, but I recognized them from seeing them around the building, and it was encouraging to see some familiar faces.)

Also, they laughed.

And I don't mean that they laughed at me and then pelted me with erasers because I was so bad.

No.

I mean, I sang a funny song (Say That We're Sweethearts Again) and they laughed at the punchline. The first time I sang this song (which you have to understand has a very warped sense of humor about it, but totally works for me) was for an audition for Disney. They didn't laugh. They stared at me. I could see their thought process: Well, she looks like she could play a Disney princess, but she's intelligent and funny....I have no idea what to do with her. NEXT!

But this time, they got the joke, and seemed to enjoy my performance. Also, I kicked a** on the last note. I was worried about it before I went in, cause I haven't belted that high in a while, and even though I knew I could take it into my soprano voice, it sounds better when I belt it. But I needn't have worried, cause it popped out of me strong and clear and with good tone. Even the other girls waiting outside said so.

Anyway, they said "thank you", I said "thank you" and smiled manically at everyone in the room before I left (I also said "thank you" with a huge smile to the accompanist and the girl who opened the door to let me out and the next girl in), and that was it. Overall, I feel good about it. Of course, what I'm not telling you is that the beginning of the song was a little rocky (and with only 8 bars, that can be devastating), but I got over it quickly and finished strong. (I didn't give a very good tempo to the accompanist, so it took a moment for us to get in sync. Totally my fault, but not a huge deal.)

So there you have it. Becca and I came back, ate pizza and watched a movie.

Till next time!
Love,
Jules

The Audition #2

OK, OK, I can hear you screaming from here: "WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE AUDITION?"
Calm down everyone, I'm going to tell you right now...

I went to the audition.









All right, all right, I'll give you the details, sheesh.

Let's start at Wednesday night:
My friend, Vanessa, turned 21 and I went to her party at Sambuca in Manhattan. I saw some old friends, got a guy's phone number (and, no, I'm not going to call him because I found out that he has a girlfriend. Why was he flirting with me? Who knows...), and generally had a good time. Becca (my roommate) and I got home at around midnight, and we both went immediately to bed with the promise that we would leave at 7AM the next morning.

Into bed I got, with good intentions of going straight to sleep. Of course, that's when the song I was planning on singing for the audition started looping continuously through my head. I didn't get to sleep until after 2AM.

5:30 AM: My alarm goes off. Surprisingly, I didn't feel very tired. I got up, dressed, curled my hair, got all pretty, and headed out the door with Becca.

8:00 AM: We arrive and sign-up. There are already 150 girls signed-up ahead of us.

10:00 AM: The audition is supposed to begin, and we learn that there are now over 300 hopeful girls there. On the plus side, my friend Mary Katherine, who I haven't seen in AGES, was there, and we got to catch up. Anyway, we find out that they are going to "type". Let me explain, for those of you who don't know. "Typing" is like auditioning to audition. They line you up in groups of 10-20, then look at you and your headshots and decide whether or not you look like you could play whatever part they're casting. If you get kept, you have the opportunity to audition, if not, you go home. It must be how horses feel at auction. Neither Becca nor I were kept. In fact, virtually everyone who was kept was shorter than both of us. Apparently, short was the name of the game.

11:00 AM: I'm back home, ready for a nap before work.

So, there you have it. Still, it accomplished more than you might think. For one thing, I learned that it is possible to go to an audition in the morning and still make it to work in the afternoon, which opens up many possibilities. Also, seeing Mary Katherine did a lot for my morale. Finally, just getting out there again put me back on the right track. Becca and I have already gone through the casting lists together and planned out the next week. We're going to auditions on both Monday and Wednesday, and a few more that are further down the road.

Satisfied? I hope so, cause that's all there is for now.

Later,
Jules

PS-I know I haven't written the 9/11 story yet, but I promise I'll get to it eventually. And, of course, I'll keep you up to date with all auditions. Oh, and I'll somehow find time to finish my story. Really. I will.

Noodles part 4

I've come to the realization that I don't really care what you people want. Yes, that's right, I said "you people". I know you want to hear about me, but I promise that it's not exciting. This week was kind of a black out on auditions, but there's at least one that I'm definitely going to next week, and I promise to tell you all about it. Other than that, I get up, go to work, sing a little, write a little, do my laundry... See: boring. Not even I, Master of the Witty Vignette, can make that stuff interesting. So, I write about superheros. They're always interesting. And this week, we get some villains to play too!

Some points:
1. The Legion of Doom was a group of super-villains much like the Justice League, except, well, evil. In the show, Gorilla Grodd was the leader until Luthor led a rebellion and took over. At the end of the show, they did something kinda stupid and had to actually team up with the Justice League to keep the world from ending. It was a great episode in which Luthor is actually the one who ends up saving everyone. Awesome. Anyway, during the time the show was on the air, there was some sort of licensing thing that meant that the writers couldn't use any of the villains from the Batman universe. It was really too bad because Batman's Rogues Gallery is considered one of the finest in all of comic book history. Many believe that it is Batman's villains that has made him such a long-lasting and popular character. After all, your hero is only as interesting as the villain he/she is fighting. Needless to say, the fans were none to pleased with this "Bat-embargo" (although, the Joker did appear in 2 or 3 episodes) and I attempt to explain the reason for it in this chunk of story.

2. Poison Ivy has a sort of pheromone-thing that allows her to control men with just one kiss. Most notably, she took control of Superman in a comic called Hush. Batman pulled out his Kryptonite ring (which Superman gave him as a kind of insurance, in case he ever went crazy) and laid the smackdown on Supes. Well, sort of. He was really only keeping him busy long enough for Catwoman to kidnap Lois Lane and drop her off a building, effectively breaking Superman out of Ivy's control in order to save his wife. Aww, what a guy, fighting off mind control to save his love...

Okay, onward we go.

Gossip in the Watchtower: part 4
By: Jules Parker

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Don't have any money, so don't bother suing me. Bruce Wayne has money, why don't you sue him? Oh, and the video that was made by "the Flash" was actually made by LunarChaosTXB, and it can be found on youtube (or you can just watch it here).

To: SexyLexy
From: anonymous
Re: a proposition

Well, well, well. Trust Lex Luthor to get himself a big screen TV installed in his maximum security cell. Lucky for you, that means we have a way to chat. You’re probably wondering how this message got on your screen, and who’s sending it. Don’t worry, Lex, all will be revealed soon. For now, let’s just say that I stumbled on a new toy, and I’m going to use it to bring down the Justice League.

Have I got your attention?

Good.

Now, I know you’re smart, Lex, but I’m not sure how smart. So, a little test. If you can figure out how to send me a message back, let me know if you’re interested in hearing the rest of the plan.

I’ll be waiting for your reply, Lex…

To: anonymous
From: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
Re: your proposition

Smart? I’m beyond smart, you arrogant little virus! I cracked the system in two minutes (and that‘s including the time it took to re-wire my TV and turn it into a make-shift computer). Now, I demand to know who you are, and what you want.

Lex Luthor

PS-Where exactly did you say you found this system? It’s…rather impressive.

To: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
From: anonymous
Re: the plan

I’M arrogant? You’ve dubbed yourself “master of the universe”. Can we say, “complex”?!

As to your question, I didn’t say, but I will now: I found this system entirely by accident. I was on my computer chatting with some “old friends,” when this message popped up on my screen.

To: Whipped Cream
From: FasterThanASpeedingSuperman
Re: Sorry…

Sorry, GA, but I can’t change it back for you. Black Canary threatened me, and I’m more frightened of her than I am of you. No offense. I suggest groveling.

Later.

PS- Yeah, you heard right: Superman has thrown the proverbial gauntlet. Now all we have to do is find a way to have the race without Bats finding out about it. I just know that he wouldn’t approve. He’d probably say it was ‘un-heroic’ of us or something. What a killjoy! I mean, just cause we’re the Justice League, doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun!

At first, I thought it was a joke, but then I started digging. I uncovered an entire network of communications, unlike anything I had ever seen before. And it was well protected, too. If I had to guess, I would say that the only way I was even able to get in was because there had been some recent disturbances in the system. Someone had changed some important codes for unknown reasons, and they hadn’t done a very good job of cleaning up after themselves. The more I uncovered, the more there was to find. Hundreds of thousands of messages were being sent by members of the Justice League, ranging from important communiqués to silly gossip. Then, suddenly, there was silence. I thought I’d been shut out, but then I realized that there were still messages, just not as many. It only lasted a week before the volume was, once again, overwhelming.

Suffice it to say, I realized that an opportunity had been placed in front of me. Naturally, I started gathering others in our line of work (yourself included) to help me in a scheme. Take a look at this:

That is why we would like the entire Justice League (including all freelance and part-time Leaguers) to gather, one week from today. We will set the Watchtower to automatic alert so we can keep an eye on things. Also, the meeting will be held in Training Room 7, so we’ll all be on hand if anything happens.

It appears that the entire League will be conveniently gathered in one place for an extended period of time…now THAT’S what I call “opportunity”.

So, are you in?

To: anonymous
From: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
Re: others?

It shouldn’t come as any surprise to you to know that I’m not keen on the idea of forming another “Legion of Doom”. One super-villain club is enough for a lifetime… That being said, I can’t deny that this will require more help than just you and I (especially since I STILL don’t know who you are, or, more importantly, how powerful you are). So, I have one condition: no rogues from the Bat-family.

From: anonymous
To: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
Re: Gotham’s super villains

Erm…what’s wrong with Batman’s foes?

From: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
To: anonymous
Re: Batman’s Rogues Gallery

Have you met them? They’re all insane!

From: anonymous
To: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
Re: And?

With that attitude, we’re not going to recruit ANYBODY. Even your sanity isn’t exactly what I’d call “stable”.

From: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
To: anonymous
Re: very funny

I’m serious. Every villain that has ever come out of Gotham City is absolutely wacko. Take the Joker, for instance. Have you ever met that clown? I have. I’ve even worked with him before. And I DON’T recommend it. He is seriously deranged. And the rest of them aren’t much better. Two-Face, Penguin, Killer Croc, that guy with the dummy… There’s a reason why the criminals of Gotham are sent to Arkham Asylum instead of a proper prison. And there’s a reason why NONE of them were invited to join the Legion.

So, as long as you put out a little “bat embargo” I’ll be part of the team.

PS- And if you really do want me to help, you might think about how you’re going to get me out of prison.

To: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
From: anonymous
Re: escape

Don’t worry about the prison break, I have it all under control. As to the other issue…

Is Poison Ivy all right? She did take control of Superman for a while (until Batman showed up and ruined everything; what a killjoy…) and I kinda already asked her. (And just look at her.)

To: anonymous
From: LexLuthor_Master_of_the_Universe
Re: Ivy

Yeah, she’s okay. Just don’t bring that *^&%#$ clown.

Now, I’m going to wait patiently for you to come break me out. And in the meantime, I think I’ll send a message to an old friend…

To: Superman
From: A_Concerned_Friend
Re: A delicate issue

I’m sending this anonymously because I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Big Guy, but I have to tell you…all that red and blue makes you look fat. Really not your colors. I suggest something in green. In fact, I have just the thing.

To: Flash
From: Superman
Re: Ha ha.

Very funny, Wally. Are you saying I’ll be green with envy when you win the race? Let’s get one thing straight: you are not going to win. I am. Get used to it.

Oh, and you might want to be careful about changing your user name; you know that Bruce will have a fit if he finds out.

To: Superman
From: Flash
Re: huh?

Dude, wtf are you talking about? “Green with envy”? What does

Whoa. That was close. I’m in the commissary sending this message, and Bats just walked in. He almost caught me using the message system for something other than “official business”. Actually, for a second there, I thought he had caught me. It was pretty funny watching everyone in the commissary scramble to put their communicators away when they saw him coming, I was sure he knew that something was going on. He walked in, scowled at everyone and walked out. What’s that about? Hmm, actually, I guess that’s pretty normal for Bats… And when are we going to think up a better name for this thing, anyway? “The message system” isn’t very cool. How about… e-mail? No, wait, that’s already taken. JL-mail? Doesn’t really have the right ring to it… Hey, it moves almost as fast as I do, how about Flash-mail! Heh, I like it!

Well, I gotta go, gotta start spreading this new name.

Later.

PS- Check out this video I made of Bats, it fits him perfectly!

I'm sending it to everyone in the League. It's time I got a little revenge for that whole "Grievance Services" crap.

To Be Continued...

Next time: Batman thinks everyone is acting strange around him. Are they possessed? Or are they just trying to keep a certain video from reaching his ears? Too late, someone sent him a copy by accident...

Rant

Ooooooo, that really yellows my snow!

I have just finished reading the Green Arrow/Black Canary: Wedding Special. It was all going so well. Sure, the wedding was crashed by about a hundred different super-villains, but what's a wedding without a little butt-kicking? The villains were defeated and carted off to various prisons, and the rest of the wedding went off without a hitch. And then, the wedding night. They're all lovey-dovey, and I was lulled into believing that for some people, there really is such a thing as 'happily ever after'.

I was wrong.

WHY???!!!! Why can't they just let these two be together?? Why did they have to make Green Arrow go insane at the last second and try to kill Black Canary?? Of course, she stops him by sticking an arrow through his neck, and he dies lying half on top of her, the knife still in his hand. And she's crying, and he's bleeding all over the place, and I scream "Oh come ON! Can't you just let them be HAPPY??!!" I mean, really. Why do I READ this stuff?!

And then what does it say? "Better check out the new Green Arrow/Black Canary series starting next month!!!"

Great.

Now I have another thing to read.

Infuriating.

I've been so mad, I haven't even been able to continue writing my story.

OK, that's not true...I just haven't started the next part, yet. But I promise to get to it soon. In fact, I think I'll go soak in the bath! That's a great place for me to mull over ideas; the only drawback being the fact that I have no place to write it down if something truly inspired happens to hit the back of my skull with a resounding "thunk".

Yeah. A bath. That sounds nice and calming.

Maybe I'll update again tonight, if the bath helps inspire me. Or maybe not. You'll just have to wait and see.

Jules


stupid comic books with their stupid characters that you stupidly care about and hope they live long stupid but happy lives together grumble grumble stupid grumble

Noodles part 3

Today was my first day off in two weeks. WOOHOO!!! And I spent most of it writing. Lucky for you. Or, I should say: Lucky for Mom and Jenna, since they seem to be the only 2 people who actually read this blog. Nobody loves me...

And after that nice guilt trip, I present to you: Part 3!

(I've decided to put character info at the end of the story, so you can choose to read it or not.)

Gossip in the Watchtower: part 3
By: Jules Parker

Disclaimer: yada yada yada no money yada yada yada.

One week later…

To: Justice League Members
From: Batman
Re: The Meeting

Superman and I have talked things over, and we decided to hold this meeting sooner rather than later. For the first time in years, there is a greater percentage of super-villains behind bars rather than rampaging on the streets. This does not mean we should sit back and relax. Instead, we should use this time to regroup and discuss long-term objectives and strategies. That is why we would like the entire Justice League (including all freelance and part-time Leaguers) to gather, one week from today. We will set the Watchtower to automatic alert so we can keep an eye on things. Also, the meeting will be held in Training Room 7, so we’ll all be on hand if anything happens. I encourage everyone to bring ideas for long-term strategy, as well as any suggestions for improvement of the League. DO NOT bring any grievances against other League members. If you have a problem which cannot be resolved amongst yourselves, talk to Flash. He is now head of Grievance Resolution Services and would be happy to listen to your complaints.

Looking forward to speaking with all of you at the meeting,
Batman


To: WonderWoman
From: Vixen
Re: The Party

So…what are you wearing?


To: Vixen
From: WonderWoman
Re: Re: The Party

Um…right now?


To: WonderWoman
From: Vixen
Re: Re: Re: The Party

No, stupid. To the party.

PS- I know you lived a sheltered life on that all-girl-island of yours, but you’ve been out in the real world for a while now, so stop playing the “innocent princess” act.


To: Vixen
From: WonderWoman
Re: My attire

Black formal, full-length, halter top.


To: WonderWoman
From: Vixen
Re: What you should wear

No no no. Red strapless, empire waist. You know, the one that shows off your hourglass, with the slit up the side that’s practically indecent.

You should wear that one.


To: Vixen
From: WonderWoman
Re: Red dress

I don’t have shoes that go with that one.


To: WonderWoman
From: Vixen
Re: shoes

Girl, I will find you shoes if I have to utilize every contact in the fashion industry I have.


To: Superman
From: Question
Re: the party

Just out of curiosity, is this shindig for League members only? I mean, is Lois coming?

Someone has to ask the question.


To: Question
From: Superman
Re: Re: the party

Many League members will be attending the party out of costume. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, so no outsiders will be permitted. And no, Lois isn’t coming. Some of us have only just begun to feel comfortable enough to reveal our secret identities, even to each other, and I don’t want to jeopardize that.

That being said…who did you want to bring?


To: Superman
From: Question
Re: Re: Re: the party

Huntress. I know she’s not technically still a part of the League, but I was hoping she would be permitted to attend anyway.

Someone has to ask the question.


To: Question
From: Superman
Re: Huntress

That’s fine. She can come. I’ve been meaning to bring up the subject of her rejoining the League for a while now, anyway. Besides, Nightwing and Batgirl are coming, and neither of them are members. Heck, even Batman still claims to be a “part-timer” and he’s definitely going to be there.

Speaking of which, why is it that none of the “Bat family” are technically part of the League?


To: Superman
From: Question
Re: The Bat Family

To answer your question: because they all have serious issues.

Someone also has to answer the question.


To: Batman
From: Flash
Re: Grievance Resolution Services.

You are so dead for that.


To: Flash
From: Vigilante
Re: Complaint against Shining Knight

Yeah, I’d like to file an official complaint. Shining Knight said that Clint Eastwood was not a good example of a hero. COME ON!! Who could possibly be more heroic than CLINT EASTWOOD????!!!!!

PS- Are you and Big Blue still gonna race?


To: Vigilante
From: Flash
Re: Your complaint.

Do you have any idea how many people want to file complaints against other League members? Even the Fastest Man Alive can’t keep up! Can’t you and Shining Knight just work this out on your own? You too are supposed to be friends!

PS- Yeah, the race is on. But we’ve got to keep it quiet, so don’t spread it around, yet. We’ll be sending out mass invites when we’ve set a date.


To: Robin
From: Supergirl
Re: The party

OK, I talked to Vixen, and she’s in on the plan. Everything hinges on this party, though, so we better make sure nothing gets screwed up. Are you sure that Luthor is safely locked away in jail? Cause I don’t want him breaking out and wreaking havoc right before the big night. It would be just like him to ruin everything. And the Joker, what about him? I think he can sense it whenever Bats gets even the slightest bit less grouchy…

PS- Who are you taking to the party?


To: Supergirl
From: Robin
Re: Re: The party

I’ve checked about a hundred times. Luthor is still tucked away in his maximum security cell, and the Joker is locked up at Arkham. I even looked in on Harley Quinn. Everything is going to be fine. Alfred, Nightwing, and Batgirl are in on it too. Don’t worry so much.

PS- That is none of your business.

PPS- Why, do you know someone I should ask?


To: Robin
From: Supergirl
Re: boys…

You are such an idiot.

To: Robin
From: Stargirl
Re: the party

Hey Robin!
What do you think about this whole party-thing? Pretty cool, huh? Should be fun. I know I could really use the downtime. It seems like we never get to see each other…

I was thinking about what you said the other day when we were hanging out with Supergirl. About how we, as teenage heroes, have had to sacrifice our childhoods. And how we’ve had to grow up too fast in some ways, but in other ways, we’re still just kids. Anyway, I…uh, was just thinking about that. Yeah…

So, I guess I’ll see you at the party?

Looking forward to seeing you,
Courtney

Now do you know who you should ask? Dumbass.


To: Supergirl
From: Robin
Re: my messages

HOW DID YOU GET THAT?? THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!

PS- Are you saying I should ask Star…I mean, Courtney?


To: Robin
From: Supergirl
Re: Duh.

Flash hacked into the system. How else do you think he changed his user name? Of course, he’s had to change it back now, because of the Big Bad Bat. But don’t tell anyone that Flash figured out how to intercept other people’s messages. Batman would NOT be happy.

PS- She’s been flirting with you for months, stupid. Cut her some slack and ask her out already.

To: Supergirl
From: Robin
Re: an idea

Flash can hack into the system? Hmmm…that gives me an idea.


To: Flash
From: Robin
Re: A cunning plan.

Hey Flash,
Wanna help Kara and me get Bruce to lighten up?


To: Robin
From: Flash
Re: Re: A cunning plan.

Will it make him stop ruining all my fun?


To: Flash
From: Robin
Re: Re: Re: A cunning plan.

If everything goes according to plan. And for that, we need you. Are you in?


To: Robin
From: Flash
Re: the plan.

I’m listening…


To Be Continued...

What is this "cunning plan"? How can Flash help? Will Flash get back at Batman for putting him in charge of the Grievance Resolution Service? Find out next time!

Character Info:
-Huntress, AKA Helena Bertinelli:

Originally, this character was Helena Wayne, the daughter of Batman and Catwoman, who becomes a crime fighter to avenge her mother's death. However, later versions of the character changed that, and she became the daughter of a mob boss who was murdered in front of her by a rival mob boss. After which, she swore revenge and became Huntress. She uses weapons (primarily a crossbow) but has no superpowers. In JLU the show, she was part of the League until she attempted to kill the man who had killed her father. She was thrown out of the League, but remained "friendly" with the Question, and helped the League by helping him.

-The Question, AKA Vic Sage:

A conspiracy theorist, much along the same lines as Mulder in X-Files, the Question battles corrupt governments as a faceless detective. A scientist friend of his developed a synthetic skin-like substance which the Question uses to hide his identity. He also has a special chemical that adheres the substance to his face, changes his hair color, and the color of his clothes all in one. Wikipedia has this to say: The Question of the DC Animated Universe is a completely obsessive, darkly comic loner — skeptical, eccentric, paranoid, antagonistic and unpredictable. He is often given to believing in various odd conspiracy theories and is suspicious of even his fellow League members, yet (or perhaps due to that) he is one of the Justice League's best detectives. At one point, he mentions that Supergirl eats peanut butter sandwiches before going to bed, to which she asks him if he goes through her trash: he responds, "Please... I go through everyone's trash." In one episode, he is seen investigating a warehouse where he finds that Baskin Robins is concealing their 32nd flavor. He believes that the true purpose of aglets (those plastic things on the ends of shoelaces) is "sinister". I would love to see a spin-off show about him and Huntress. They make a cute couple.

-Vixen, AKA Mari Jiwe McCabe:

One of the first black female characters to have a solo comic, Vixen can mimic the attributes of any animal she can think of. She can run as fast as a cheetah, swim as well as a dolphin, etc. She and John Stewart (Green Lantern) have been dating since John and Shayera (Hawkgirl) broke up. She acknowledges that Shayera still has feelings for John (and that he may still have feelings for Shayera) but is confident in her relationship with him. When she's not having cat fights with Hawkgirl, she's on the cat walk, earning money in her career as a model. Ha ha, get it?

-Vigilante, AKA Unknown:

He is never shown out of costume in the show, and in looking him up on wikipedia, I found that he has had several different incarnations over the years. Basically, he's a cowboy who rides a motorcycle, uses a pair of revolvers and a lasso, and wears a red handkerchief which covers his nose and mouth, protecting his identity. In several episodes, he is shown with the Shining Knight (who I'll get to in a minute) either fighting bad guys together or just hanging out. He has a Texas accent.

-Shining Knight, AKA Sir Justin:

A real knight from the round table at Camelot, Sir Justin has a magic sword which was given to him by Merlin and a winged horse named Victory. He was frozen in a block of ice until recently, and is trying to live in modern times even when they confuse and bamboozle him. He has a strong sense of nobility and loyalty, something which often gets him into arguments with Vigilante, who is a little more lax.

And I'm sure that all of that was way too much information. In fact, this post has become far too long, and I should really be in bed now. Enjoy!

Jules

Noodles part 2

I'm not sure how many parts this story will end up being, but so far, this is all of it. It definitely isn't finished; there are plans formulating in my brain, I just haven't typed them out yet.

A few clarifications for those of you not familiar with some of these characters:

1. In the comics, Dick Grayson was the original Robin. When he grew up, he decided to stop being the "Boy Wonder" to become Nightwing. The next to take up the Robin mantel was Jason Todd. He was beaten and left to die by the Joker. He came back to life later (as comic book characters are inclined to do) but as far as my story goes, he remains in his grave where he belongs. The third and current Robin is Tim Drake, a teenager with good detective skills.

2. Supergirl, AKA Kara Zor-El, is the cousin of Superman, AKA Kal-El, AKA Clark Kent. She has had other incarnations in the past, but, again, for the purposes of my story, she's his cousin. Stargirl is someone I'm not all that familiar with, to be honest. I only know her from the Justice League show in which she is a girl around Supergirl's age with a staff that gives her various powers, including the ability to fly. She and her step-father (an ordinary man with a robotic suit) fight together as Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E.

3. Green Arrow, AKA Oliver Queen, is a Robin Hood-esque character. Like Bruce Wayne he is independently wealthy, and has no superpowers. He uses technologically advanced arrows. Go figure. He and Black Canary (a woman with deadly skills in hand-to-hand combat and an even deadlier piercing shriek) have been dating FOREVER. They are finally getting married in a comic coming out next Wednesday, and they are, quite possibly, the cutest fictional couple I've ever seen. (See above.)

4. J'onn Jonze, AKA Martian Manhunter, is (as you may have guessed) a Martian. Literally. He's from Mars. He's very strong, psychic, and a shape changer. Basically, you don't want to piss him off.

And now, on to part 2!

Gossip in the Watchtower: part 2
By: Jules Parker

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm making no money off of this. If I was, I would quit my job at the store, cause this is way more fun.

To: Supergirl
From: Stargirl
Re: Race

OMG! I just heard that Flash and your cousin are going to race! Did you hear? Do you know when it is? Will you ask Superman? That’s something I HAVE to see!

Btw, what were you and Robin talking about the other day? You two looked pretty chummy…


To: Supergirl
From: RobinIII
Re: that thing we talked about…

Well, if they are, I can’t find any evidence of it. Not that I can come right out and ask him…
I’ll keep working on it from my end, but we need to find out more information. Can you talk to your cousin? He might know more.

And did you hear about this race thing? I can guess who you’ll root for, but my money’s on Flash. He did it once already…


To: RobinIII
From: SuperWOMAN
Re: that thing we talked about…

Why does EVERYONE want me to talk to my cousin??? Just cause he’s Superman doesn’t mean he has a clue about half the things that are going on in front of his eyes. He doesn’t know anything about…that thing. But I might know someone who does. I’ll get back to you.

Like my new user ID? Flash showed me how to change it, as I’m assuming he showed you how to change yours. Why do you feel the need to distinguish yourself as Robin the Third? Dick gave it up years ago, and Jason’s not really in a position to care.

As for the much-talked-about race, I’ll take that bet! Flash is fast, but my cousin has speed and brains. And no, I don’t know when it is, or if it’s anything more than a rumor. Kal doesn’t tell me anything!!!

PS - Why do we have to talk in code like this? These messages are supposed to be completely secure.


To: SuperWOMAN
From: RobinIII
Re: my new user ID

This is why I changed my ID:

To: Robin
From: TheOriginalRobin
Re: Copyright infringement

Look, kid, I know that you’re the new ‘Robin’ these days, but let’s not forget who owned the name first. ME! Just because I gave up being Robin to become Nightwing, doesn’t mean you can go around using my name; especially when you start getting the royalty checks from the Robin action figure line!

Can you believe his nerve? Mr. “Robin the First”! What does he need royalty checks for anyway? Bruce pays all his bills! What a @#&$ face.

PS - What does having brains have to do with anything? They’re going to run really fast; it’s not exactly rocket science.

PPS - We have to talk in code because if I know Batman (and I do) he’ll have a way to monitor every message that goes through the system. I’m hoping the sheer amount of messages will bury our communications, but just in case…

To: Black Canary
From: Whipped Green
Re: Very funny

That’s real cute, hon. Now please show me how to change my user name back.

To: Black Canary
From: Whipped Green
Re: Seriously

Yeah, I got it. I’m whipped. I worship the ground you walk on. PLEASE CHANGE IT BACK!

To: Black Canary
From: Green Arrow
Re: Thank you

And if it makes you feel better, you can call me “Whipped Green” when we’re in private.

PS - And please remember that ‘in private’ is not when Batman and Superman are sitting at the other end of the commissary. Superman does have super-hearing, and I’m pretty sure Batman can read lips.

To: Justice League Members
From: Batman
Re: Important Notice

Listen up everyone,

This new message system has gotten out of hand. It was created to replace our communicators which have been subject to certain security breaches lately. It was not made to send gossip, love letters, or anonymous tips on anal stick removal (btw, Wally, I know that was you, even though you used J’onn’s ID. He is not amused, and neither am I).

Those of you who have changed your user ID’s (Wally) will make an appointment with either J’onn or myself to restore them. These ID’s were carefully encoded so that when a message is sent to a specific ID, only the person who’s retinal scan matches that ID will be able to read it. It is, literally, your eyes only. When you change your user name, you upset this complex coding, (coding which took MONTHS of work) and open the program to possible hackers.

Finally, there are a lot of rumors going around about a possible party. Let me be clear: IT IS NOT A PARTY. And anyway, Superman and I haven’t moved beyond the initial planning stages for this meeting, so please stop asking when it is. Along those same lines, there has also been a rumor about a certain race between two senior members of the Justice League. While I cannot comment on what League members do during their off hours, I would like to point out that we are heroes, and should be setting an example to the people we have sworn to protect; NOT picking schoolyard fights over who can run ten laps around the playground first.

Thank you.


To Be Continued...

Will Batman's scolding halt the use of the message system for petty gossip? For at least a week it will. But all it takes is one little message...

Noodles

OK, I did warn you...the following is a fanfic I started writing. It is similar to "Naked Quidditch" in form, but not really in plot line. It is also not finished. I'm debating whether to post all of what I have, or put it up in segments. No doubt I'll continue to debate this right up until I publish this post. Anyway, here it is.

PS - If you haven't read "Naked Quidditch" I suggest that you do. It is an ingeniously hilarious story. You can read it here: http://diagonally.org/Fiction/op=show/kid=136.html


Gossip in the Watchtower
By: Jules Parker

Disclaimer: I do not own the Justice League. However, I'm going to take them out to play in this little story (from which I will earn NO money), but promise to put them back where I found them in good condition. Except for Batman. Him, I'm not giving back. Sorry.


To: Superman
From: Batman
Re: New message system

Clark,
J’onn and I finally have the new system up and running. We will issue user names to every JLU member, and J’onn promised to give a few tutorials on how it works. Basically, it’s just like e-mail, but it is completely secured against hackers, and Leaguers will be able to access it from nearly anywhere in the world and some parts of the universe, as well. We will be able to send instant alerts to any member, anonymously. Obviously, this has advantages over the comm system. We’ll have a better idea of how well it works in a few weeks. I’ll keep you posted.

PS - Have you talked to Diana recently? She’s been acting strange…


To: Batman
From: Superman
Re: New message system

Bruce, this system is incredible! Not even the Daily Planet has this level of communications technology! That message you sent me appeared on my computer at work, but no one else was able to read it! How did you make it so that only my eyes can decipher the text? I got Lois to try and make it out for ages, and she kept saying she couldn’t see it!

As for Diana, I haven’t had a lot of time to talk with her, lately. It seems like the only time I see ANYONE from the League is when we’re saving the world from peril. I think we need to schedule some downtime for everyone. It’s been a difficult year, we could all use some R&R. Maybe some kind of get together for the whole League? Let me know what you think.
And again, this new system is really neat!


To: Batman
From: FastestManAlive
Re: Dude!

Bats,
You have really outdone yourself! This new system is awesome! J’onn was just showing me how I can receive messages on my wristwatch! Speaking of which, thanks for the new watch! Just don’t tell me how much it cost; five-figure accessories might not faze ‘billionaire playboys’ but it would give me the willies to know how much I was casually wearing around my wrist.

Btw, did I hear you and Supes talking about a party the other day? And if so, why haven’t I been invited?!


To: FastestManAlive
From: Batman
Re: Dude!

WALLY,
“FastestManAlive” is NOT your user name! How did you change it? Change it back, NOW. This is not a system to be toyed with. And that watch (along with this system) is for emergencies ONLY. As I’ve already told Clark, this is not a casual chat system. Don’t send me something unless you need help.

PS - Clark and I were discussing a possible MEETING of the entire JL where we can relax and discuss any issues that have come up. IT IS NOT A PARTY!


To: Superman
From: FasterThanASpeedingSuperman
Re: Bats

Whoa. Do NOT talk to Bruce right now. He is in a VERY testy mood. He just chewed me out for using this system for something other than an emergency! Big Hypocrite! If he can use it to yell at me for changing my user name, I can use it to send flirtatious verging on freaky-stalker-type messages to Fire….er, or, I mean, messages about when I’m supposed to meet Fire for some one-on-one training. Yeah.

Anyway, like my new handle? Bats is furious that I hacked in and changed it from “Flash” but that’s boring! When people get a message from me, I want them to know exactly who they’re dealing with.

I think I’ll go run a few thousand laps…think you can keep up?


To: FasterThanASpeedingSuperman
From: Superman
Re: Challenge

Flash, please. You beat me ONCE, and that was after a long day of fighting bad guys. If you want to keep that precious title of yours, I suggest a rematch.


To: Superman
From: FasterThanASpeedingSuperman
Re: Challenge

Just name the time and place, and I’ll be there before you can even put your cape on, Big Guy.


To be continued...

That's all for today. Next time on "Gossip in the Watchtower": Rumors about the upcoming race circulate around the tower! Supergirl and Robin are up to something secretive! And Batman is not happy with the way his message system is being used!

See you next time!

Running

It has been brought to my attention (by my Mother, who called me last night) that it has been too long since I updated this blog. She's probably right (she always is) so here I am, updating.

Let's see, what has happened to me recently....well, I worked every day last week. All day. EVERY day. No, wait, that's a lie, I didn't work on Monday. Still. The owners of the boutique are in France (soooooo jealous!) so I'm running the store. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AT LAST! POWER!!!

Ahem.

Excuse me, lost my head for a moment. I'm sure that if they knew I was an evil genius, they never would have put me in charge. Oh well.

In addition to all this controlling and shouting, I have now, for the past three mornings in a row (including today), awakened at 7 to go for a run.

"WHAT???" I hear all of you asking. Or, as my mom put it: "On purpose?" No, Mom, I was not being chased by an angry mob, nor did I fall out of bed into my sneakers and just figured I'd keep going. I set my alarm, made the decision not to smash my alarm to pieces when it went off, got up, and went for a run. Did I mention this all happened at 7AM? Yeah.

The first time it happened, I wasn't very surprised. I can usually make myself do this sort of thing once. Getting myself to do it more than once, however.... So you can imagine my surprise yesterday and this morning when I found myself repeating the process. It's odd because my brain was saying "NO" while my body was going through the motions. It went something like this:

Alarm goes off. No, I'd rather not, thank you. Hey! What...what? What am I doing out of bed? Get back!!! Quick before you're really awake! ............. OK, fine. I'll just go upstairs, make some coffee and then come back down, get under the covers with a good book and read. No need to do anything rash......what are you doing with those running shoes? Noooo, put them baaaack...this can't be good. At which point, I stuff my iPod headphones in my ears, and turn on my Running playlist (which is full of very loud, very happy/angry songs) at a decibel which drowns out the rest of my brain's protestations. Then I run.

According to Mapquest, the round trip distance is 2.8miles. Wow. That seems like a lot. Keep in mind, I don't run the entire distance. I alternate running with walking. Basically, I run until I think my lungs are going to burst, then I walk until I can breathe fairly normally again, and then I run some more. The whole thing takes about 45 mins.

Usually, sometime on the way back from the park (I run a very small distance through a park, but mostly just run through the neighborhood) I start to wish I was dead, and the music becomes a little more distant, and my brain gets a little louder. It's at this time that I have to pretend I'm someone else, doing this for some noble reason or something. It's the only way I can fool my brain into thinking this is a good idea. This morning I imagined I was a hero in training. Yesterday, I held an interview with Ellen Degeneres concerning my exercise habits.
You see, I'm really bad at JUST doing physical activity. My brain HAS to do something, or I'll go insane. So, I keep myself entertained.

Anyway, back to the subject of updating. The problem is that I AM writing, I'm just writing stuff that probably wouldn't be of any interest to any of you. But, if you really want me to post it here, I will. Let's do a poll! The old one is really old, and it's time to change it. (Though I am happy to see that so many of you like toast, cause I sure do, too!)

Now, go forth and think and then vote. (If more people would do that thinking thing first when it comes to other voting situations, the world would be a better place!)

Love,
Jules

A Day in the Life...

It occurs to me that it must be fairly easy to guess what I'm watching and/or reading from day to day, simply by looking at my Quote of the Day (which is not really accurate because I don't change it every day, so sometimes a particular quote is the Quote of Many Days). For instance, I just put up a quote from Lois and Clark because I've been watching a lot of it lately. (I've run out of Batman, you see, and Superman is the next best thing!) I also recently had a quote from Louise Brooks, a silent film actress, whom I looked up on the imdb (I love that site!) because I came across her name in American Gods, which is the book I'm reading right now. Was that a run-on sentence? Anyway, American Gods is by Neil Gaiman, a genius/mentally unstable author (why is it that those two things always go hand in hand?) and I recommend his work to everyone. This particular novel was recommended to me by my sister, and I'm glad I finally picked it up! (See Liz, I do take your suggestions, it just takes me a while...I'll talk to you about Watership Down in 5-7 years.)

Anyway, I'm sure none of this is really interesting, but I did promise to keep people up to date with my life, and, let's face it, it's really not that exciting. Let's go through my typical day.

9:00AM - Alarm goes off.
9:38AM - I finally roll out of bed, having hit the snooze button a few (read: many) times.
9:50AM - I finish rolling out of bed and pry my eyes open. Yes, this takes a few minutes.
10:00AM - My limbs are finally cooperating and I am reasonably certain that I can make it up my treacherous spiral staircase without breaking my toe/leg/neck. Up I wearily go, and once I've reached the top (where the kitchen is) I begin making coffee.
10:15AM - I am back downstairs, coffee in hand, and my brain is actually starting to function a little. I turn on my computer and get online.

First, I check out the day's headlines on the AOL homepage. If something looks interesting, I'll read the article, otherwise I just do a quick sweep and then go straight to my e-mail. I delete the numerous pieces of junk mail, read the few pieces of personal mail, and, if I'm not too tired or pressed for time, I respond.

Next I head over to Mugglenet to see if there's any breaking Harry Potter news that I need to know about. "WHAT? JKR IS WRITING AN EIGHTH BOOK!!!" Just kidding.

Then, I head over to my blog and just sort of look at it for a while. I reread any comments I've gotten (they get sent to me by e-mail where I read them, but for some reason I always come over to the blog and read them again in person, so to speak). Sometimes I change something, but mostly I just look at it. "Yep. It's still here."

Finally, I might go over to youtube, if I have some time, or netflix to change up my queue, or DC comics to see what's coming out this week.

Around 11:00AM - If I'm working that day, I'll head upstairs to shower and get ready. If not, I'll probably skulk around the apartment in my jammies until well after noon.

Monday, Thursday, and Friday I work from 3-7 in a boutique called Otto. It's a great place with many things which I covet, but don't have enough money to own. Still, after a big shipment, the owners and I try on the new clothes and model them for each other to see how they fit and feel, so we can advise customers about size and style. It's like playing dress-up!

Saturday and Sunday I work all day, but it's not bad. The store has a very relaxed environment, and the owners (Annette and Deirdre) are very nice. Now, if only I didn't have to deal with the customers.....no, I'm just kidding! I haven't had anyone really difficult yet, though I am beginning to categorize them. I've been working out a list of Shopper Types which I'll post one of these days.

On my days off (Tuesday and Wednesday) I either audition or sleep in the mornings, and hang around the apartment during the day. I read, watch things, do laundry, buy groceries, clean... Sometimes I'll treat myself to a movie, or head to the comic book shop which has become a guilty pleasure for me. There are just so many comic books! And I get a thrill out of being the only cute girl in a shop full of nerdy-looking men who all stare at me as though I must have stumbled in here by accident and why is she picking up that Batman comic? OMG! Did she just SMILE at me???!!!! Be cool, BE COOL! Okay, she's also reading Countdown, strike up a conversation about the theme of temptation and when power becomes too much power in regards to Mary Marvel, yeah, say that.

"Tmprfft."

Blast! Foiled again! OK, next week, I'll form actual words.

1:00AM - I go to bed.
2:00AM - If I'm lucky, I'm asleep by now.
Sometime during the night - I dream that there's a bomb in the basement of my apartment and only I know how to diffuse it. Can you say, "too much Lois and Clark recently"?

So, that's a typical day.

Wow. And here I was just going to post a quick update...

Love,
Jules

The Audition

So, I'm still on the cusp of getting a cold, though I'm fighting it desperately, but I decided to go on this audition anyway. The audition is for a touring company looking for a total of 8 people, and they've already had their equity auditions. Boy, do I know how to pick the tough ones... It's straight theatre which means no singing, so for the audition I had to perform two monologues: one contemporary and one classical. I chose my pieces from The Food Chain (which I've used before) and The Tempest (which I learned in a voice production and speech class at AMDA). I'm confident in both these pieces, and I like performing them which makes them great audition material.

I get there an hour early and wait. And wait. For musical theatre auditions, an hour early is late. That's usually about the time that we're allowed to sign-in, so people get there even earlier to be first in line. Apparently it's a little different for regular theatre. About fifteen minutes before the audition is scheduled to begin, someone shows up and hands around a sign-in sheet. I'm in slot number 2. We hand in our headshot and resume and wait some more. The monitor tells us how it's going to go: you go in, say your name, do your pieces, get out. If the guy gives you sides (lines from the play) to learn, come back out, learn them, and stick around to audition with them. It's sort of like an audition and a call-back all in one. If he doesn't give you sides, you can leave.

The first girl goes in, I pace nervously, and when she comes out, she has pages in her hands. Great. He liked her. No pressure, Julia, no pressure...

I go in, introduce myself and do my pieces. The first one (Food Chain) blows. For some reason, I just can't get into it. I'm nervous, and my mind is on other things. I'm worried about the one minute per monologue time limit, and when I accidentally skip a few lines in the middle, I just continue as though I meant to do that, even though my mind is suddenly screaming "YOU SCREWED UP!!!! OK, just let it go, get back on track, and...oops. Too late. It's over. Shake it off, and go into your next piece."

The second piece is much better. I relax a little, and remember that this is fun. I'm Ariel, a child-like spirit who just played some truly hilarious tricks on a bunch of burly sea men and made them scream like little girls while I essentially blew up their ship. Fun. It feels like it's going well, but I see out of the corner of my eye that my auditioner is carefully scrutinizing my resume with a confused frown. "AMDA? What is this 'AMDA' of which you speak?" Or maybe he didn't understand how the same person could play Laertes in Hamlet as well as Princess Peach in the musical version of Super Mario Brothers. I almost asked if he wanted me to clarify something, but didn't. I just said 'thank you' and walked out.

And now I'm home, laughing about the whole ridiculous process! Some people are great at showing their most marketable points in under 2 minutes; me, I just haven't learned that yet. But the more auditions I go on, the better I'll get.

I'm signing off now with the hope that I'll be able to post one of these once a week (that's how often I'm hoping to audition, now that I have a steady job).

Love,
Jules

Quick Update

Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I wrote last. I've been working all weekend, and I've started to come down with a cold, so I'm not really in a quirky writing kinda mood. But I am still thinking about it, mulling over ideas, pondering outlines...

Other than that, there is nothing new to report. I hope this finds everyone well!

Love,
Jules

Julia's Job Hunt part 3

Gah! Where does the time go?! It feels like only yesterday when I last posted. Well, here it is, the last chapter in the Job Hunt Chronicles. Everyone take a moment to shed a tear.

The really terrifying thing is that I don't have anything left to post. I might have to (gasp!) write something new!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Well, don't worry, new material is brewing in my noggin which will, hopefully, produce a nice story stew and not sludge. Wait, does stew brew? No, I think that's beer...whatever, something appetizing will soon exit my head, let's just pray it isn't my brain. And with that disturbing image in your mind, here's part 3!

Julia's Job Hunt...Or, Is It Hot In Here?
Part 3: The Interview

(Julia gets up and puts on outfit. Takes off outfit, puts on outfit #2. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit #3. Takes off outfit #3, puts back on outfit #2. Considers shoes. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit#1 and shoes. Looks at self in mirror. Realizes she hasn't showered yet. Starts over.)

1 hour later....

(Julia is dressed [in outfit #1 and shoes #2] and ready to go. She heads out and decides to take the subway so that she doesn't melt in the heat. Gets off subway, walks 2 blocks, and melts in the heat anyway. Arrives at Lawyer Rachel's home [where she works])

Lawyer Rachel: Hi, you must be Julia!
Julia: Yes, nice to meet you. (They shake hands. Julia's is sweaty.)
Lawyer Rachel: Can I get you a glass of water?
Julia: (Is terrified that she would spill it everywhere.) I'm fine, thank you. You have a beautiful home. (Julia is not lying, it really is beautiful)
Lawyer Rachel: Thanks, my husband is an architect.

(They get down to business. LR explains the job, and that Julia would be free to choose her own hours. Julia jumps for joy inside.)

Julia: I would prefer to work mornings, and to spread my hours out over a couple of days a week.
LR: Yes, that's what I would prefer, as well. (Julia mentally puts a tally in the "score" column of her mind.)

(They chat some more.)

LR: I also need someone who can talk to clients on the phone and just be a sympathetic ear. I, as the mediator (Rachel handles divorce cases), really have to remain impartial, but I would like an assistant who can listen calmly to their story and offer support, and then just sum it up for me later in a more direct way.
Julia: Well, I'm a great listener. All my friends say so.
LR: Good. That's a good skill to have.
Julia: Hmmm? I'm sorry, what?
LR: I said: "that's a good skill to have."
Julia: Oh, right. Sorry, I wasn't listening.
LR: Riiiight... (sweat drips down Julia's back)

(They chat even more.)

LR: So you can see the environment in which you'll be working. Obviously, it is my home and there can be some distractions. One woman who worked for me would often be distracted whenever my kids would get home. Are you OK about working while my kids are around?
Julia: Me? Oh I love kids!! Love, love, love! I can't wait to have kids of my own. I'm planning on about 50 or so. I think kids are just fantastic! In fact, you ought to watch out, I might steal yours away! (Julia laughs maniacally. Thinks she may have overdone it a bit.)
LR: Riiiight... (more sweat)

(Still more chatting and a tour of the "office".)

LR: What sort of pay were you hoping for?
Julia: (freezes. She hates this question. It feels like trying to guess what number someone is thinking, and every time she's tried to answer, she's been wrong.) Well, ideally, I would like $10/hr. But I can understand if that's something I would have to work up to.
LR: Actually, I would probably pay you more than that.
Julia: Huh?
LR: Well, I expect you to be able to think things through, and not just mindlessly follow orders. I want someone with a brain, someone who's smart.
Julia: (Thinks-I have a brain! I'm smart! Say something smart, Julia. Go on, say something smart!!!) Fire bad, tree pretty.
LR: ....
Julia: (Thinks - Yeah, probably not your best option, Jules.) So...more than $10, you say?

(They finish talking, and LR shows Julia out.)

LR: I'm interviewing a total of 5 people, and I'm hoping to make my decision next week, so I'll let you know. And feel free to e-mail me with any questions or if you change your mind about the job.
Julia: Will do! It was very nice to meet you, Lawyer Rachel.
LR: It was nice to meet you. And you can just call me Rachel.
Julia: Right. Well, bye!
LR: Bye.

(Julia walks out in the heat and sweats some more. But overall, she feels pretty good about the whole thing.)

Next time on Julia's Job Hunt:
Will Lawyer Rachel hire her? What about the boutique called Otto? Will Julia ever be dry again? Find out next time!

Love,Jules

PS-"Fire bad, tree pretty" is a quote from an episode of Buffy. Clearly, Joss Whedon has influenced me A LOT!

Julia's Job Hunt part 2

Hello everyone! A lot of you have been asking about the whole audition thing, and whether or not I have/will/am going on any. To be honest, I've only been on three, and didn't even get seen on one of those. However, there is good news on the horizon! For the first time, there is an audition coming up that I'm actually really excited to go to! It takes place in the evening, for one thing, so I don't have to get up at an impossible hour to make myself all pretty and stuff, and it's for a couple different plays, in all of which I believe I'm castable. I feel fairly confident about it, but I'm still going to have to get off my lazy bum and practice my monologues; shouldn't be too hard, since I really like the two I'm planning on performing. Anyway, I'm announcing this here so that you can all bother me about it and make sure that I actually go!

And now, with that bit of business finished, I give you part 2!

Julia's Job Hunt, or, Physical Labor, It's All I'm Good For.
Part 2: Julia Answers Craigslist Help Wanted Ad

Julia: (looking at jobs on craigslist) Hmmm...cleaning person needed...simple cleaning jobs and running errands, $10 an hour, no experience needed, great for students looking for extra cash and/or really desperate 22 year olds. (Julia writes e-mail to craigslist poster.)

The Next Day

Julia: La, la, la, I think I'll check my e-mail. Hey! I got a response for that simple cleaning gig! (she reads) Real estate agent needs someone to clean apartments before I show them. Call if you can come today. (thinks) Today? That's awfully soon, I'd better get dressed!

45 minutes later...

Julia: (on the phone) Hi, this is Julia, I'm calling about the cleaning position.
Mateo: (on the other end) Great, I really need someone to clean this apartment which is going to be painted. Can you get to St. Marks Ave in 30 mins?
Julia: Get where? In what?
Mateo: St. Marks Ave. AVENUE, not PLACE. Here are some really confusing directions. You got all that?
Julia: Uh...me leave now?
Mateo: Good, call me when you get there.

20 minutes later...

Julia: (Get's off subway, walks in completely wrong direction for 5 blocks. Walks back and talks to subway station agent.) Excuse me, could you tell me where St. Marks Ave is.
Station Agent: There's a St. Marks Place.
Julia: Yes, I know, but I'm looking for St. Marks AVE.
Station Agent: (looks at Julia suspiciously) And I suppose you want to find your way to platform 9 3/4, also. Why don't you just start banging into every wall you find until you get where you're going. (Julia blinks up at him in confusion) THERE IS NO ST MARKS AVE!!!!
Julia: (on the phone) Um...Mateo, there is no St. Marks Ave.
Mateo: If you walk it, it will come.
Julia: Riiiight. (starts walking) Hey, look at that! A sign that says "St. Marks Ave"! Stupid station agent, grumble, grumble, grumble. (calls Mateo) I'm here!
Mateo: Great, I'll be there in a few minutes.
Julia: (waits.....watches girls fill out rental applications and make phone calls to their mommies and ask about co-signing. Julia sighs, and remembers those happier times.)
Mateo: (arrives) Hi, you must be Julia. Let me get these girls settled and then I'll show you what you'll be doing.
Julia: Great.

10 minutes later...

Mateo: OK, I need you to vacuum all the common areas, the entrance way and stairs and all the landings. Actually, sweep them with the shortest broom ever made, first. Then, take this almost completely useless vacuum which has no attachments, just the long sucking tube, and go back over everything. If your back doesn't hurt, you're doing it wrong.

2 hours and much bending over later...

Mateo: Now sweep the outside stairs and sidewalk with the same teeny tiny broom.

30 mins and more bending later...

Mateo: Good. Have you collapsed yet? No? Excellent, I have another apartment to clean.
Julia: Oh joy.
(They drive)
Mateo: OK, I need you to clean all the windows and windowsills, they have to be painted and we don't want to just paint over the dirt.
Julia: We don't?
Mateo: After that, you can do the stairs and hallways like you did at the last place. (He gives her a different vacuum, still with just the skinny tube, but at least it really sucks stuff up!)

1 hour later...

Mateo: Great, stay for another 15 mins and we'll call it an even 4 hours. We never really talked pay...
Julia: (jumps in desperately) Your website said $10 an hour!
Mateo: Hmmm...yeah, I guess. Usually I start people off at about $8. I'll give you the $10 today, and then if you want more regular work I'll have to give you $8, but if you keep working and are reliable, I'll bump it up. The last two girls only wanted to do it for one day, and then they said they couldn't. Weird, huh?
Julia: Noooooo...really? (thinks) Me no likey hard larbor. But me desperate.
Mateo: What?
Julia: What? Nothing. That's sounds fine.
Mateo: OK. Clean the baseboards and the scrub the door, and we'll call it a day.

15 mins later...

Mateo: Here's your money. (he holds out $40 dollars. The clouds part for a moment and a beam of sunlight hits the two twenties as they pass into Julia's hands. A choir of small boys burst into rapturous song....) Um, are you OK?
Julia: (shakes her head to clear it of choir boys) Yeah, I'm fine.
Mateo: Call me Sunday night if you want to do more work.
Julia: (dazed) Yeah, sure. Bye. (she walks away, the $40 safe in her purse.) I think I'll treat myself to Chinese food tonight...

The End

Next on Julia's Job Hunt:Will Julia call Mateo for more work? Will her back ever recover? Was the Chinese food good?Find out next time!

Julia's Job Hunt part 1

I dedicate this to Jenna, who is very good about posting comments to my blog, and because she voted for it. Hope everything is well in Korea, and that you are having fun teaching!

Also, a big CONGRATULATIONS to James and Kathleen: Engaged At Last!!!! We all knew it was only a matter of time...


And now, Julia's Job Hunt, or, Is This Really My Life?
Part one: The Temp Agency

Receptionist: Here, fill out this stack of forms. (hands Julia several forms with very small print) You can attach your resume to that when you're finished.

Julia: (thinks) Resume? (Sits down to complete forms. Doesn't understand most of what is asked, but does her best. Reaches section on employment record which says to list in order, starting with current job. Employment? Job?? LIST??!! Julia leaves this blank, completes the rest of the application and turns it in along with her acting resume. Then she waits.)

Receptionist: Julia? (Julia returns to desk.) You need to fill out the employment history.

Julia: Yeah, that might be a problem. I don't have one. (Receptionist looks sharply at Julia to see if she is trying to be humorous. She is not. Receptionist looks at acting resume.)

Receptionist: Oh. I see. OK, just wait over there.

Julie M (my contact at the agency): Julia? (Julia stands and waves, and Julie M. makes her way over.) What sort of job were you hoping to get?

Julia: Well, I know I don't have a lot - or, indeed, any - experience, but I'm pretty computer savvy, and I can type fast.

Julie M: OK... Let's have you take a typing test and see how that goes. The more skills you have, the better pay I can get you...(Julia takes typing test and Microsoft Word test.)

Julie M: (looking at results of test) Good! Very good. Come back to my "office", by which I mean "cubicle", by which I mean "really pathetic desk in the middle of nowhere without even any walls". Do you have any office experience?

Julia: Well, I spend a lot of time on my computer...

Julie M: Riiiight. Well, I could probably get you something in customer service. Do you have phone skills?

Julia: Uh, I know how to speak...

Julie M: Can you transfer calls?

Julia: I can learn...

Julie M: Hmmm. Well, don't worry, I'll find something for you. Maybe a light receptionist job. (She pauses to look at Julia) Really light. Call me every few days and I'll find something for you.

Julia: (pathetically) Thank you. (Returns home.)

Next on Julia's Job Hunt...Will Barnes and Noble ever get back to her? Will Julie M. come through and find her a job? Find out next time!