It occurs to me that it must be fairly easy to guess what I'm watching and/or reading from day to day, simply by looking at my Quote of the Day (which is not really accurate because I don't change it every day, so sometimes a particular quote is the Quote of Many Days). For instance, I just put up a quote from Lois and Clark because I've been watching a lot of it lately. (I've run out of Batman, you see, and Superman is the next best thing!) I also recently had a quote from Louise Brooks, a silent film actress, whom I looked up on the imdb (I love that site!) because I came across her name in American Gods, which is the book I'm reading right now. Was that a run-on sentence? Anyway, American Gods is by Neil Gaiman, a genius/mentally unstable author (why is it that those two things always go hand in hand?) and I recommend his work to everyone. This particular novel was recommended to me by my sister, and I'm glad I finally picked it up! (See Liz, I do take your suggestions, it just takes me a while...I'll talk to you about Watership Down in 5-7 years.)
Anyway, I'm sure none of this is really interesting, but I did promise to keep people up to date with my life, and, let's face it, it's really not that exciting. Let's go through my typical day.
9:00AM - Alarm goes off.
9:38AM - I finally roll out of bed, having hit the snooze button a few (read: many) times.
9:50AM - I finish rolling out of bed and pry my eyes open. Yes, this takes a few minutes.
10:00AM - My limbs are finally cooperating and I am reasonably certain that I can make it up my treacherous spiral staircase without breaking my toe/leg/neck. Up I wearily go, and once I've reached the top (where the kitchen is) I begin making coffee.
10:15AM - I am back downstairs, coffee in hand, and my brain is actually starting to function a little. I turn on my computer and get online.
First, I check out the day's headlines on the AOL homepage. If something looks interesting, I'll read the article, otherwise I just do a quick sweep and then go straight to my e-mail. I delete the numerous pieces of junk mail, read the few pieces of personal mail, and, if I'm not too tired or pressed for time, I respond.
Next I head over to Mugglenet to see if there's any breaking Harry Potter news that I need to know about. "WHAT? JKR IS WRITING AN EIGHTH BOOK!!!" Just kidding.
Then, I head over to my blog and just sort of look at it for a while. I reread any comments I've gotten (they get sent to me by e-mail where I read them, but for some reason I always come over to the blog and read them again in person, so to speak). Sometimes I change something, but mostly I just look at it. "Yep. It's still here."
Finally, I might go over to youtube, if I have some time, or netflix to change up my queue, or DC comics to see what's coming out this week.
Around 11:00AM - If I'm working that day, I'll head upstairs to shower and get ready. If not, I'll probably skulk around the apartment in my jammies until well after noon.
Monday, Thursday, and Friday I work from 3-7 in a boutique called Otto. It's a great place with many things which I covet, but don't have enough money to own. Still, after a big shipment, the owners and I try on the new clothes and model them for each other to see how they fit and feel, so we can advise customers about size and style. It's like playing dress-up!
Saturday and Sunday I work all day, but it's not bad. The store has a very relaxed environment, and the owners (Annette and Deirdre) are very nice. Now, if only I didn't have to deal with the customers.....no, I'm just kidding! I haven't had anyone really difficult yet, though I am beginning to categorize them. I've been working out a list of Shopper Types which I'll post one of these days.
On my days off (Tuesday and Wednesday) I either audition or sleep in the mornings, and hang around the apartment during the day. I read, watch things, do laundry, buy groceries, clean... Sometimes I'll treat myself to a movie, or head to the comic book shop which has become a guilty pleasure for me. There are just so many comic books! And I get a thrill out of being the only cute girl in a shop full of nerdy-looking men who all stare at me as though I must have stumbled in here by accident and why is she picking up that Batman comic? OMG! Did she just SMILE at me???!!!! Be cool, BE COOL! Okay, she's also reading Countdown, strike up a conversation about the theme of temptation and when power becomes too much power in regards to Mary Marvel, yeah, say that.
"Tmprfft."
Blast! Foiled again! OK, next week, I'll form actual words.
1:00AM - I go to bed.
2:00AM - If I'm lucky, I'm asleep by now.
Sometime during the night - I dream that there's a bomb in the basement of my apartment and only I know how to diffuse it. Can you say, "too much Lois and Clark recently"?
So, that's a typical day.
Wow. And here I was just going to post a quick update...
Love,
Jules
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Audition
So, I'm still on the cusp of getting a cold, though I'm fighting it desperately, but I decided to go on this audition anyway. The audition is for a touring company looking for a total of 8 people, and they've already had their equity auditions. Boy, do I know how to pick the tough ones... It's straight theatre which means no singing, so for the audition I had to perform two monologues: one contemporary and one classical. I chose my pieces from The Food Chain (which I've used before) and The Tempest (which I learned in a voice production and speech class at AMDA). I'm confident in both these pieces, and I like performing them which makes them great audition material.
I get there an hour early and wait. And wait. For musical theatre auditions, an hour early is late. That's usually about the time that we're allowed to sign-in, so people get there even earlier to be first in line. Apparently it's a little different for regular theatre. About fifteen minutes before the audition is scheduled to begin, someone shows up and hands around a sign-in sheet. I'm in slot number 2. We hand in our headshot and resume and wait some more. The monitor tells us how it's going to go: you go in, say your name, do your pieces, get out. If the guy gives you sides (lines from the play) to learn, come back out, learn them, and stick around to audition with them. It's sort of like an audition and a call-back all in one. If he doesn't give you sides, you can leave.
The first girl goes in, I pace nervously, and when she comes out, she has pages in her hands. Great. He liked her. No pressure, Julia, no pressure...
I go in, introduce myself and do my pieces. The first one (Food Chain) blows. For some reason, I just can't get into it. I'm nervous, and my mind is on other things. I'm worried about the one minute per monologue time limit, and when I accidentally skip a few lines in the middle, I just continue as though I meant to do that, even though my mind is suddenly screaming "YOU SCREWED UP!!!! OK, just let it go, get back on track, and...oops. Too late. It's over. Shake it off, and go into your next piece."
The second piece is much better. I relax a little, and remember that this is fun. I'm Ariel, a child-like spirit who just played some truly hilarious tricks on a bunch of burly sea men and made them scream like little girls while I essentially blew up their ship. Fun. It feels like it's going well, but I see out of the corner of my eye that my auditioner is carefully scrutinizing my resume with a confused frown. "AMDA? What is this 'AMDA' of which you speak?" Or maybe he didn't understand how the same person could play Laertes in Hamlet as well as Princess Peach in the musical version of Super Mario Brothers. I almost asked if he wanted me to clarify something, but didn't. I just said 'thank you' and walked out.
And now I'm home, laughing about the whole ridiculous process! Some people are great at showing their most marketable points in under 2 minutes; me, I just haven't learned that yet. But the more auditions I go on, the better I'll get.
I'm signing off now with the hope that I'll be able to post one of these once a week (that's how often I'm hoping to audition, now that I have a steady job).
Love,
Jules
I get there an hour early and wait. And wait. For musical theatre auditions, an hour early is late. That's usually about the time that we're allowed to sign-in, so people get there even earlier to be first in line. Apparently it's a little different for regular theatre. About fifteen minutes before the audition is scheduled to begin, someone shows up and hands around a sign-in sheet. I'm in slot number 2. We hand in our headshot and resume and wait some more. The monitor tells us how it's going to go: you go in, say your name, do your pieces, get out. If the guy gives you sides (lines from the play) to learn, come back out, learn them, and stick around to audition with them. It's sort of like an audition and a call-back all in one. If he doesn't give you sides, you can leave.
The first girl goes in, I pace nervously, and when she comes out, she has pages in her hands. Great. He liked her. No pressure, Julia, no pressure...
I go in, introduce myself and do my pieces. The first one (Food Chain) blows. For some reason, I just can't get into it. I'm nervous, and my mind is on other things. I'm worried about the one minute per monologue time limit, and when I accidentally skip a few lines in the middle, I just continue as though I meant to do that, even though my mind is suddenly screaming "YOU SCREWED UP!!!! OK, just let it go, get back on track, and...oops. Too late. It's over. Shake it off, and go into your next piece."
The second piece is much better. I relax a little, and remember that this is fun. I'm Ariel, a child-like spirit who just played some truly hilarious tricks on a bunch of burly sea men and made them scream like little girls while I essentially blew up their ship. Fun. It feels like it's going well, but I see out of the corner of my eye that my auditioner is carefully scrutinizing my resume with a confused frown. "AMDA? What is this 'AMDA' of which you speak?" Or maybe he didn't understand how the same person could play Laertes in Hamlet as well as Princess Peach in the musical version of Super Mario Brothers. I almost asked if he wanted me to clarify something, but didn't. I just said 'thank you' and walked out.
And now I'm home, laughing about the whole ridiculous process! Some people are great at showing their most marketable points in under 2 minutes; me, I just haven't learned that yet. But the more auditions I go on, the better I'll get.
I'm signing off now with the hope that I'll be able to post one of these once a week (that's how often I'm hoping to audition, now that I have a steady job).
Love,
Jules
Monday, August 27, 2007
Quick Update
Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I wrote last. I've been working all weekend, and I've started to come down with a cold, so I'm not really in a quirky writing kinda mood. But I am still thinking about it, mulling over ideas, pondering outlines...
Other than that, there is nothing new to report. I hope this finds everyone well!
Love,
Jules
Other than that, there is nothing new to report. I hope this finds everyone well!
Love,
Jules
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Julia's Job Hunt part 3
Gah! Where does the time go?! It feels like only yesterday when I last posted. Well, here it is, the last chapter in the Job Hunt Chronicles. Everyone take a moment to shed a tear.
The really terrifying thing is that I don't have anything left to post. I might have to (gasp!) write something new!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Well, don't worry, new material is brewing in my noggin which will, hopefully, produce a nice story stew and not sludge. Wait, does stew brew? No, I think that's beer...whatever, something appetizing will soon exit my head, let's just pray it isn't my brain. And with that disturbing image in your mind, here's part 3!
Julia's Job Hunt...Or, Is It Hot In Here?
Part 3: The Interview
(Julia gets up and puts on outfit. Takes off outfit, puts on outfit #2. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit #3. Takes off outfit #3, puts back on outfit #2. Considers shoes. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit#1 and shoes. Looks at self in mirror. Realizes she hasn't showered yet. Starts over.)
1 hour later....
(Julia is dressed [in outfit #1 and shoes #2] and ready to go. She heads out and decides to take the subway so that she doesn't melt in the heat. Gets off subway, walks 2 blocks, and melts in the heat anyway. Arrives at Lawyer Rachel's home [where she works])
Lawyer Rachel: Hi, you must be Julia!
Julia: Yes, nice to meet you. (They shake hands. Julia's is sweaty.)
Lawyer Rachel: Can I get you a glass of water?
Julia: (Is terrified that she would spill it everywhere.) I'm fine, thank you. You have a beautiful home. (Julia is not lying, it really is beautiful)
Lawyer Rachel: Thanks, my husband is an architect.
(They get down to business. LR explains the job, and that Julia would be free to choose her own hours. Julia jumps for joy inside.)
Julia: I would prefer to work mornings, and to spread my hours out over a couple of days a week.
LR: Yes, that's what I would prefer, as well. (Julia mentally puts a tally in the "score" column of her mind.)
(They chat some more.)
LR: I also need someone who can talk to clients on the phone and just be a sympathetic ear. I, as the mediator (Rachel handles divorce cases), really have to remain impartial, but I would like an assistant who can listen calmly to their story and offer support, and then just sum it up for me later in a more direct way.
Julia: Well, I'm a great listener. All my friends say so.
LR: Good. That's a good skill to have.
Julia: Hmmm? I'm sorry, what?
LR: I said: "that's a good skill to have."
Julia: Oh, right. Sorry, I wasn't listening.
LR: Riiiight... (sweat drips down Julia's back)
(They chat even more.)
LR: So you can see the environment in which you'll be working. Obviously, it is my home and there can be some distractions. One woman who worked for me would often be distracted whenever my kids would get home. Are you OK about working while my kids are around?
Julia: Me? Oh I love kids!! Love, love, love! I can't wait to have kids of my own. I'm planning on about 50 or so. I think kids are just fantastic! In fact, you ought to watch out, I might steal yours away! (Julia laughs maniacally. Thinks she may have overdone it a bit.)
LR: Riiiight... (more sweat)
(Still more chatting and a tour of the "office".)
LR: What sort of pay were you hoping for?
Julia: (freezes. She hates this question. It feels like trying to guess what number someone is thinking, and every time she's tried to answer, she's been wrong.) Well, ideally, I would like $10/hr. But I can understand if that's something I would have to work up to.
LR: Actually, I would probably pay you more than that.
Julia: Huh?
LR: Well, I expect you to be able to think things through, and not just mindlessly follow orders. I want someone with a brain, someone who's smart.
Julia: (Thinks-I have a brain! I'm smart! Say something smart, Julia. Go on, say something smart!!!) Fire bad, tree pretty.
LR: ....
Julia: (Thinks - Yeah, probably not your best option, Jules.) So...more than $10, you say?
(They finish talking, and LR shows Julia out.)
LR: I'm interviewing a total of 5 people, and I'm hoping to make my decision next week, so I'll let you know. And feel free to e-mail me with any questions or if you change your mind about the job.
Julia: Will do! It was very nice to meet you, Lawyer Rachel.
LR: It was nice to meet you. And you can just call me Rachel.
Julia: Right. Well, bye!
LR: Bye.
(Julia walks out in the heat and sweats some more. But overall, she feels pretty good about the whole thing.)
Next time on Julia's Job Hunt:
Will Lawyer Rachel hire her? What about the boutique called Otto? Will Julia ever be dry again? Find out next time!
Love,Jules
PS-"Fire bad, tree pretty" is a quote from an episode of Buffy. Clearly, Joss Whedon has influenced me A LOT!
The really terrifying thing is that I don't have anything left to post. I might have to (gasp!) write something new!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Well, don't worry, new material is brewing in my noggin which will, hopefully, produce a nice story stew and not sludge. Wait, does stew brew? No, I think that's beer...whatever, something appetizing will soon exit my head, let's just pray it isn't my brain. And with that disturbing image in your mind, here's part 3!
Julia's Job Hunt...Or, Is It Hot In Here?
Part 3: The Interview
(Julia gets up and puts on outfit. Takes off outfit, puts on outfit #2. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit #3. Takes off outfit #3, puts back on outfit #2. Considers shoes. Takes off outfit #2, puts on outfit#1 and shoes. Looks at self in mirror. Realizes she hasn't showered yet. Starts over.)
1 hour later....
(Julia is dressed [in outfit #1 and shoes #2] and ready to go. She heads out and decides to take the subway so that she doesn't melt in the heat. Gets off subway, walks 2 blocks, and melts in the heat anyway. Arrives at Lawyer Rachel's home [where she works])
Lawyer Rachel: Hi, you must be Julia!
Julia: Yes, nice to meet you. (They shake hands. Julia's is sweaty.)
Lawyer Rachel: Can I get you a glass of water?
Julia: (Is terrified that she would spill it everywhere.) I'm fine, thank you. You have a beautiful home. (Julia is not lying, it really is beautiful)
Lawyer Rachel: Thanks, my husband is an architect.
(They get down to business. LR explains the job, and that Julia would be free to choose her own hours. Julia jumps for joy inside.)
Julia: I would prefer to work mornings, and to spread my hours out over a couple of days a week.
LR: Yes, that's what I would prefer, as well. (Julia mentally puts a tally in the "score" column of her mind.)
(They chat some more.)
LR: I also need someone who can talk to clients on the phone and just be a sympathetic ear. I, as the mediator (Rachel handles divorce cases), really have to remain impartial, but I would like an assistant who can listen calmly to their story and offer support, and then just sum it up for me later in a more direct way.
Julia: Well, I'm a great listener. All my friends say so.
LR: Good. That's a good skill to have.
Julia: Hmmm? I'm sorry, what?
LR: I said: "that's a good skill to have."
Julia: Oh, right. Sorry, I wasn't listening.
LR: Riiiight... (sweat drips down Julia's back)
(They chat even more.)
LR: So you can see the environment in which you'll be working. Obviously, it is my home and there can be some distractions. One woman who worked for me would often be distracted whenever my kids would get home. Are you OK about working while my kids are around?
Julia: Me? Oh I love kids!! Love, love, love! I can't wait to have kids of my own. I'm planning on about 50 or so. I think kids are just fantastic! In fact, you ought to watch out, I might steal yours away! (Julia laughs maniacally. Thinks she may have overdone it a bit.)
LR: Riiiight... (more sweat)
(Still more chatting and a tour of the "office".)
LR: What sort of pay were you hoping for?
Julia: (freezes. She hates this question. It feels like trying to guess what number someone is thinking, and every time she's tried to answer, she's been wrong.) Well, ideally, I would like $10/hr. But I can understand if that's something I would have to work up to.
LR: Actually, I would probably pay you more than that.
Julia: Huh?
LR: Well, I expect you to be able to think things through, and not just mindlessly follow orders. I want someone with a brain, someone who's smart.
Julia: (Thinks-I have a brain! I'm smart! Say something smart, Julia. Go on, say something smart!!!) Fire bad, tree pretty.
LR: ....
Julia: (Thinks - Yeah, probably not your best option, Jules.) So...more than $10, you say?
(They finish talking, and LR shows Julia out.)
LR: I'm interviewing a total of 5 people, and I'm hoping to make my decision next week, so I'll let you know. And feel free to e-mail me with any questions or if you change your mind about the job.
Julia: Will do! It was very nice to meet you, Lawyer Rachel.
LR: It was nice to meet you. And you can just call me Rachel.
Julia: Right. Well, bye!
LR: Bye.
(Julia walks out in the heat and sweats some more. But overall, she feels pretty good about the whole thing.)
Next time on Julia's Job Hunt:
Will Lawyer Rachel hire her? What about the boutique called Otto? Will Julia ever be dry again? Find out next time!
Love,Jules
PS-"Fire bad, tree pretty" is a quote from an episode of Buffy. Clearly, Joss Whedon has influenced me A LOT!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Julia's Job Hunt part 2
Hello everyone! A lot of you have been asking about the whole audition thing, and whether or not I have/will/am going on any. To be honest, I've only been on three, and didn't even get seen on one of those. However, there is good news on the horizon! For the first time, there is an audition coming up that I'm actually really excited to go to! It takes place in the evening, for one thing, so I don't have to get up at an impossible hour to make myself all pretty and stuff, and it's for a couple different plays, in all of which I believe I'm castable. I feel fairly confident about it, but I'm still going to have to get off my lazy bum and practice my monologues; shouldn't be too hard, since I really like the two I'm planning on performing. Anyway, I'm announcing this here so that you can all bother me about it and make sure that I actually go!
And now, with that bit of business finished, I give you part 2!
Julia's Job Hunt, or, Physical Labor, It's All I'm Good For.
Part 2: Julia Answers Craigslist Help Wanted Ad
Julia: (looking at jobs on craigslist) Hmmm...cleaning person needed...simple cleaning jobs and running errands, $10 an hour, no experience needed, great for students looking for extra cash and/or really desperate 22 year olds. (Julia writes e-mail to craigslist poster.)
The Next Day
Julia: La, la, la, I think I'll check my e-mail. Hey! I got a response for that simple cleaning gig! (she reads) Real estate agent needs someone to clean apartments before I show them. Call if you can come today. (thinks) Today? That's awfully soon, I'd better get dressed!
45 minutes later...
Julia: (on the phone) Hi, this is Julia, I'm calling about the cleaning position.
Mateo: (on the other end) Great, I really need someone to clean this apartment which is going to be painted. Can you get to St. Marks Ave in 30 mins?
Julia: Get where? In what?
Mateo: St. Marks Ave. AVENUE, not PLACE. Here are some really confusing directions. You got all that?
Julia: Uh...me leave now?
Mateo: Good, call me when you get there.
20 minutes later...
Julia: (Get's off subway, walks in completely wrong direction for 5 blocks. Walks back and talks to subway station agent.) Excuse me, could you tell me where St. Marks Ave is.
Station Agent: There's a St. Marks Place.
Julia: Yes, I know, but I'm looking for St. Marks AVE.
Station Agent: (looks at Julia suspiciously) And I suppose you want to find your way to platform 9 3/4, also. Why don't you just start banging into every wall you find until you get where you're going. (Julia blinks up at him in confusion) THERE IS NO ST MARKS AVE!!!!
Julia: (on the phone) Um...Mateo, there is no St. Marks Ave.
Mateo: If you walk it, it will come.
Julia: Riiiight. (starts walking) Hey, look at that! A sign that says "St. Marks Ave"! Stupid station agent, grumble, grumble, grumble. (calls Mateo) I'm here!
Mateo: Great, I'll be there in a few minutes.
Julia: (waits.....watches girls fill out rental applications and make phone calls to their mommies and ask about co-signing. Julia sighs, and remembers those happier times.)
Mateo: (arrives) Hi, you must be Julia. Let me get these girls settled and then I'll show you what you'll be doing.
Julia: Great.
10 minutes later...
Mateo: OK, I need you to vacuum all the common areas, the entrance way and stairs and all the landings. Actually, sweep them with the shortest broom ever made, first. Then, take this almost completely useless vacuum which has no attachments, just the long sucking tube, and go back over everything. If your back doesn't hurt, you're doing it wrong.
2 hours and much bending over later...
Mateo: Now sweep the outside stairs and sidewalk with the same teeny tiny broom.
30 mins and more bending later...
Mateo: Good. Have you collapsed yet? No? Excellent, I have another apartment to clean.
Julia: Oh joy.
(They drive)
Mateo: OK, I need you to clean all the windows and windowsills, they have to be painted and we don't want to just paint over the dirt.
Julia: We don't?
Mateo: After that, you can do the stairs and hallways like you did at the last place. (He gives her a different vacuum, still with just the skinny tube, but at least it really sucks stuff up!)
1 hour later...
Mateo: Great, stay for another 15 mins and we'll call it an even 4 hours. We never really talked pay...
Julia: (jumps in desperately) Your website said $10 an hour!
Mateo: Hmmm...yeah, I guess. Usually I start people off at about $8. I'll give you the $10 today, and then if you want more regular work I'll have to give you $8, but if you keep working and are reliable, I'll bump it up. The last two girls only wanted to do it for one day, and then they said they couldn't. Weird, huh?
Julia: Noooooo...really? (thinks) Me no likey hard larbor. But me desperate.
Mateo: What?
Julia: What? Nothing. That's sounds fine.
Mateo: OK. Clean the baseboards and the scrub the door, and we'll call it a day.
15 mins later...
Mateo: Here's your money. (he holds out $40 dollars. The clouds part for a moment and a beam of sunlight hits the two twenties as they pass into Julia's hands. A choir of small boys burst into rapturous song....) Um, are you OK?
Julia: (shakes her head to clear it of choir boys) Yeah, I'm fine.
Mateo: Call me Sunday night if you want to do more work.
Julia: (dazed) Yeah, sure. Bye. (she walks away, the $40 safe in her purse.) I think I'll treat myself to Chinese food tonight...
The End
Next on Julia's Job Hunt:Will Julia call Mateo for more work? Will her back ever recover? Was the Chinese food good?Find out next time!
And now, with that bit of business finished, I give you part 2!
Julia's Job Hunt, or, Physical Labor, It's All I'm Good For.
Part 2: Julia Answers Craigslist Help Wanted Ad
Julia: (looking at jobs on craigslist) Hmmm...cleaning person needed...simple cleaning jobs and running errands, $10 an hour, no experience needed, great for students looking for extra cash and/or really desperate 22 year olds. (Julia writes e-mail to craigslist poster.)
The Next Day
Julia: La, la, la, I think I'll check my e-mail. Hey! I got a response for that simple cleaning gig! (she reads) Real estate agent needs someone to clean apartments before I show them. Call if you can come today. (thinks) Today? That's awfully soon, I'd better get dressed!
45 minutes later...
Julia: (on the phone) Hi, this is Julia, I'm calling about the cleaning position.
Mateo: (on the other end) Great, I really need someone to clean this apartment which is going to be painted. Can you get to St. Marks Ave in 30 mins?
Julia: Get where? In what?
Mateo: St. Marks Ave. AVENUE, not PLACE. Here are some really confusing directions. You got all that?
Julia: Uh...me leave now?
Mateo: Good, call me when you get there.
20 minutes later...
Julia: (Get's off subway, walks in completely wrong direction for 5 blocks. Walks back and talks to subway station agent.) Excuse me, could you tell me where St. Marks Ave is.
Station Agent: There's a St. Marks Place.
Julia: Yes, I know, but I'm looking for St. Marks AVE.
Station Agent: (looks at Julia suspiciously) And I suppose you want to find your way to platform 9 3/4, also. Why don't you just start banging into every wall you find until you get where you're going. (Julia blinks up at him in confusion) THERE IS NO ST MARKS AVE!!!!
Julia: (on the phone) Um...Mateo, there is no St. Marks Ave.
Mateo: If you walk it, it will come.
Julia: Riiiight. (starts walking) Hey, look at that! A sign that says "St. Marks Ave"! Stupid station agent, grumble, grumble, grumble. (calls Mateo) I'm here!
Mateo: Great, I'll be there in a few minutes.
Julia: (waits.....watches girls fill out rental applications and make phone calls to their mommies and ask about co-signing. Julia sighs, and remembers those happier times.)
Mateo: (arrives) Hi, you must be Julia. Let me get these girls settled and then I'll show you what you'll be doing.
Julia: Great.
10 minutes later...
Mateo: OK, I need you to vacuum all the common areas, the entrance way and stairs and all the landings. Actually, sweep them with the shortest broom ever made, first. Then, take this almost completely useless vacuum which has no attachments, just the long sucking tube, and go back over everything. If your back doesn't hurt, you're doing it wrong.
2 hours and much bending over later...
Mateo: Now sweep the outside stairs and sidewalk with the same teeny tiny broom.
30 mins and more bending later...
Mateo: Good. Have you collapsed yet? No? Excellent, I have another apartment to clean.
Julia: Oh joy.
(They drive)
Mateo: OK, I need you to clean all the windows and windowsills, they have to be painted and we don't want to just paint over the dirt.
Julia: We don't?
Mateo: After that, you can do the stairs and hallways like you did at the last place. (He gives her a different vacuum, still with just the skinny tube, but at least it really sucks stuff up!)
1 hour later...
Mateo: Great, stay for another 15 mins and we'll call it an even 4 hours. We never really talked pay...
Julia: (jumps in desperately) Your website said $10 an hour!
Mateo: Hmmm...yeah, I guess. Usually I start people off at about $8. I'll give you the $10 today, and then if you want more regular work I'll have to give you $8, but if you keep working and are reliable, I'll bump it up. The last two girls only wanted to do it for one day, and then they said they couldn't. Weird, huh?
Julia: Noooooo...really? (thinks) Me no likey hard larbor. But me desperate.
Mateo: What?
Julia: What? Nothing. That's sounds fine.
Mateo: OK. Clean the baseboards and the scrub the door, and we'll call it a day.
15 mins later...
Mateo: Here's your money. (he holds out $40 dollars. The clouds part for a moment and a beam of sunlight hits the two twenties as they pass into Julia's hands. A choir of small boys burst into rapturous song....) Um, are you OK?
Julia: (shakes her head to clear it of choir boys) Yeah, I'm fine.
Mateo: Call me Sunday night if you want to do more work.
Julia: (dazed) Yeah, sure. Bye. (she walks away, the $40 safe in her purse.) I think I'll treat myself to Chinese food tonight...
The End
Next on Julia's Job Hunt:Will Julia call Mateo for more work? Will her back ever recover? Was the Chinese food good?Find out next time!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Julia's Job Hunt part 1
I dedicate this to Jenna, who is very good about posting comments to my blog, and because she voted for it. Hope everything is well in Korea, and that you are having fun teaching!
Also, a big CONGRATULATIONS to James and Kathleen: Engaged At Last!!!! We all knew it was only a matter of time...
And now, Julia's Job Hunt, or, Is This Really My Life?
Part one: The Temp Agency
Receptionist: Here, fill out this stack of forms. (hands Julia several forms with very small print) You can attach your resume to that when you're finished.
Julia: (thinks) Resume? (Sits down to complete forms. Doesn't understand most of what is asked, but does her best. Reaches section on employment record which says to list in order, starting with current job. Employment? Job?? LIST??!! Julia leaves this blank, completes the rest of the application and turns it in along with her acting resume. Then she waits.)
Receptionist: Julia? (Julia returns to desk.) You need to fill out the employment history.
Julia: Yeah, that might be a problem. I don't have one. (Receptionist looks sharply at Julia to see if she is trying to be humorous. She is not. Receptionist looks at acting resume.)
Receptionist: Oh. I see. OK, just wait over there.
Julie M (my contact at the agency): Julia? (Julia stands and waves, and Julie M. makes her way over.) What sort of job were you hoping to get?
Julia: Well, I know I don't have a lot - or, indeed, any - experience, but I'm pretty computer savvy, and I can type fast.
Julie M: OK... Let's have you take a typing test and see how that goes. The more skills you have, the better pay I can get you...(Julia takes typing test and Microsoft Word test.)
Julie M: (looking at results of test) Good! Very good. Come back to my "office", by which I mean "cubicle", by which I mean "really pathetic desk in the middle of nowhere without even any walls". Do you have any office experience?
Julia: Well, I spend a lot of time on my computer...
Julie M: Riiiight. Well, I could probably get you something in customer service. Do you have phone skills?
Julia: Uh, I know how to speak...
Julie M: Can you transfer calls?
Julia: I can learn...
Julie M: Hmmm. Well, don't worry, I'll find something for you. Maybe a light receptionist job. (She pauses to look at Julia) Really light. Call me every few days and I'll find something for you.
Julia: (pathetically) Thank you. (Returns home.)
Next on Julia's Job Hunt...Will Barnes and Noble ever get back to her? Will Julie M. come through and find her a job? Find out next time!
Also, a big CONGRATULATIONS to James and Kathleen: Engaged At Last!!!! We all knew it was only a matter of time...
And now, Julia's Job Hunt, or, Is This Really My Life?
Part one: The Temp Agency
Receptionist: Here, fill out this stack of forms. (hands Julia several forms with very small print) You can attach your resume to that when you're finished.
Julia: (thinks) Resume? (Sits down to complete forms. Doesn't understand most of what is asked, but does her best. Reaches section on employment record which says to list in order, starting with current job. Employment? Job?? LIST??!! Julia leaves this blank, completes the rest of the application and turns it in along with her acting resume. Then she waits.)
Receptionist: Julia? (Julia returns to desk.) You need to fill out the employment history.
Julia: Yeah, that might be a problem. I don't have one. (Receptionist looks sharply at Julia to see if she is trying to be humorous. She is not. Receptionist looks at acting resume.)
Receptionist: Oh. I see. OK, just wait over there.
Julie M (my contact at the agency): Julia? (Julia stands and waves, and Julie M. makes her way over.) What sort of job were you hoping to get?
Julia: Well, I know I don't have a lot - or, indeed, any - experience, but I'm pretty computer savvy, and I can type fast.
Julie M: OK... Let's have you take a typing test and see how that goes. The more skills you have, the better pay I can get you...(Julia takes typing test and Microsoft Word test.)
Julie M: (looking at results of test) Good! Very good. Come back to my "office", by which I mean "cubicle", by which I mean "really pathetic desk in the middle of nowhere without even any walls". Do you have any office experience?
Julia: Well, I spend a lot of time on my computer...
Julie M: Riiiight. Well, I could probably get you something in customer service. Do you have phone skills?
Julia: Uh, I know how to speak...
Julie M: Can you transfer calls?
Julia: I can learn...
Julie M: Hmmm. Well, don't worry, I'll find something for you. Maybe a light receptionist job. (She pauses to look at Julia) Really light. Call me every few days and I'll find something for you.
Julia: (pathetically) Thank you. (Returns home.)
Next on Julia's Job Hunt...Will Barnes and Noble ever get back to her? Will Julie M. come through and find her a job? Find out next time!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Adventures at AMDA part 3
That's right, people, here it is: the final installment. And I have the Job Hunt Chronicles back in my possession, so I'll be putting those up in due course. (I wouldn't want to overload you with all of them at once!) So without further adieu (it's pronounced 'ado'! And if you didn't find that funny, you didn't watch the youtube videos as instructed, and you are not allowed to read the rest of this post until you 'ado' it right now), part 3!
Voice teacher: Relax!
(Julia tries to relax)
Voice teacher: OK, now try it again with some energy.
Julia: ???
Theatre dance teacher: (placing objects such as a shoe, a water bottle, and a CD case on the floor) When you get to this mark, try not to trip over these things I've placed on the floor right where you are supposed to step. Instead, adjust your dancing minutely so that you do a box step around these objects. Then, when you come back from the other side of the room and are dancing backwards and have no idea where these things are, still step around, and not on them. Good luck.
Class: ??!
Ballet teacher: Everyone get a notebook, the heavier the better. Now, hold them above your heads and when you pirouette, straighten your arms so the book goes up, just like your body should. Do that several hundred times.
Class: !!!
Ballet teacher: No, you can't rest your arms! Do it again! And be grateful you aren't holding foot stools which is what my teacher made us use!
Acting teacher: Don't forget that 10-page character analysis you have to do.
Class: ...!
Musical theatre teacher: So, you guys have two final performances next week, but you have Labor Day off, so try not to work too hard this weekend. Take at least one day off.
Class: ...?
Julia: We're allowed to do that?
Last night:
Julia dreamed about performing her song and tap dancing, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!
Love,
Jules
Voice teacher: Relax!
(Julia tries to relax)
Voice teacher: OK, now try it again with some energy.
Julia: ???
Theatre dance teacher: (placing objects such as a shoe, a water bottle, and a CD case on the floor) When you get to this mark, try not to trip over these things I've placed on the floor right where you are supposed to step. Instead, adjust your dancing minutely so that you do a box step around these objects. Then, when you come back from the other side of the room and are dancing backwards and have no idea where these things are, still step around, and not on them. Good luck.
Class: ??!
Ballet teacher: Everyone get a notebook, the heavier the better. Now, hold them above your heads and when you pirouette, straighten your arms so the book goes up, just like your body should. Do that several hundred times.
Class: !!!
Ballet teacher: No, you can't rest your arms! Do it again! And be grateful you aren't holding foot stools which is what my teacher made us use!
Acting teacher: Don't forget that 10-page character analysis you have to do.
Class: ...!
Musical theatre teacher: So, you guys have two final performances next week, but you have Labor Day off, so try not to work too hard this weekend. Take at least one day off.
Class: ...?
Julia: We're allowed to do that?
Last night:
Julia dreamed about performing her song and tap dancing, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!
Love,
Jules
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Break out the pitchforks and put on your 'angry mob' face.
Yeah. So, I see from the poll that most people want me to move on to the Job Hunt Chronicles. Hold on, let me just check that my getaway vehicle of choice is in working order...yes, excellent. Here's the thing, folks, I don't have them on my computer right now. Well, I might have them somewhere, but I can't find them, so the point is rather moot. You see, I e-mailed them a while ago, and they are no longer in my sent mail, and I didn't save them to my computer... Go ahead, grab your torch and start singing "kill the beast"; by the time you get here, I will have made my escape.
However, I promise promise promise that I will put up Job Hunt #1 just as soon as my Mom e-mails me a copy. (Sorry Mom! And thanks for coming to my rescue...again.)
In the meantime, I suggest you head over to http://youtube.com/watch?v=av6fWfmugds and watch a delightful series of videos called "Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC." These are supposedly a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials of which I have a vague memory. Anyway, they are hilarious. I especially recommend this one: http://youtube.com/watch?v=azGhHh9mV_Q which has Batman and Spiderman comparing notes on who's had a worse life. Then there is the After Hours Series which shows the heroes sitting in a bar talking about the success (or lack thereof) of their respective movie franchises. Genius.
Still don't believe that you should head over and watch? Here's a little taste:
(Spiderman and Batman sitting at the bar)
Spidey: Hey Bruce?
Bats: What?
S: What's in that pocket?
B: (sigh) Brass knuckles.
S: And that pocket?
B: Laser cutter.
S: And that pocket?
B: Anti-toxins.
S: And that pocket?
B: Meow mix.
S: ......
B: It's personal.
S: Huh.
Now go! Watch! Be merry! Forget the things I promised you!
What? Who said what? I didn't say anything...
Are you still here? GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Jules
However, I promise promise promise that I will put up Job Hunt #1 just as soon as my Mom e-mails me a copy. (Sorry Mom! And thanks for coming to my rescue...again.)
In the meantime, I suggest you head over to http://youtube.com/watch?v=av6fWfmugds and watch a delightful series of videos called "Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC." These are supposedly a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials of which I have a vague memory. Anyway, they are hilarious. I especially recommend this one: http://youtube.com/watch?v=azGhHh9mV_Q which has Batman and Spiderman comparing notes on who's had a worse life. Then there is the After Hours Series which shows the heroes sitting in a bar talking about the success (or lack thereof) of their respective movie franchises. Genius.
Still don't believe that you should head over and watch? Here's a little taste:
(Spiderman and Batman sitting at the bar)
Spidey: Hey Bruce?
Bats: What?
S: What's in that pocket?
B: (sigh) Brass knuckles.
S: And that pocket?
B: Laser cutter.
S: And that pocket?
B: Anti-toxins.
S: And that pocket?
B: Meow mix.
S: ......
B: It's personal.
S: Huh.
Now go! Watch! Be merry! Forget the things I promised you!
What? Who said what? I didn't say anything...
Are you still here? GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Jules
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Accusations
Yes, yes, I hear you. "You said you would write something EVERY DAY!" And here I am, looking at my last post which says it was put up on Thursday. And it's Sunday. Well.
There's been a slight hitch, you see. I can't find the last AMDA Adventure...(Mom, a little help here? Two of the ones you forwarded back to me were the same). Here's the thing: the AA's were all on my old computer which has since died tragically in a small (or, I should say, large) coffee incident. I am a little hesitant to move on to the Job Hunt Chronicles until I have finished the other. So, let's put it to a vote. Using the poll, tell me what I should do. And if nobody votes, I'll just do whatever I want, (that is, after I have a little cry over the fact that nobody cares).
Kisses,
Jules
There's been a slight hitch, you see. I can't find the last AMDA Adventure...(Mom, a little help here? Two of the ones you forwarded back to me were the same). Here's the thing: the AA's were all on my old computer which has since died tragically in a small (or, I should say, large) coffee incident. I am a little hesitant to move on to the Job Hunt Chronicles until I have finished the other. So, let's put it to a vote. Using the poll, tell me what I should do. And if nobody votes, I'll just do whatever I want, (that is, after I have a little cry over the fact that nobody cares).
Kisses,
Jules
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Adventures at AMDA part 2
Hmmm...rereading this one, I don't think it's one of my better pieces. Still, I promised to post it, so I will. I believe that I was becoming rather frustrated with AMDA at this point, so this story comes off as a little more angry than the others. Second semester wasn't my best...
Monday
No Acting class, no sight singing class....why didn't we get this day off? Ah, 'tis the mystery that is AMDA.
Tap: We're starting in right away with some difficult new steps! Okay everybody, it's time for Traveling Triple Time-Steps (or, as I like to call them: A Step-Shuffle-Huh? Wait, Go Back...How Do You Do That Again?)!
Musical Theatre: Here's the mountain of paperwork you have to do for your first song. Any questions?
Then, to finish off the day, a rousing two hours at the library reading plays.
Tuesday
NO CLASS!! Whoot. Julia spends the morning sleeping, the afternoon seeing Superman Returns, and the evening on the roof of her neighbor's apartment watching fireworks. Ahh, NYC; is there anything better?
Wednesday
Jazz: I don't care if you have a hangover!!! Get up and dance, darn you!!!
Musical Theatre: Here are three songs, have them memorized perfectly by Friday.
Thursday
Voice lesson: Julia sings her musical theatre song
Voice teacher, a la Ben Affleck in Shakespeare in Love: Are you going to do it like that?
VPS: Once again we contort our bodies and are told to breathe. We're also told to curse our VPS teacher if we need to. We do.
Friday
Acting: Mary Katherine and Julia perform scene for the final time. Acting teacher's face remains inscrutable.
Julia: Do you think she liked it?
MK: I have no idea.
Ballet: The less said, the better.
Musical Theatre:
Stacy (our teacher): Today we're going to combine singing and dancing!! Okay everyone, get your tap shoes on and lets do it!
The song begins and Stacy calls out different tap steps which the class has to do while they attempt to sing the song. Class begins to feel faint after the third time...Have you ever tried to do a triple time-step while singing? Don't. You will probably die. I think I may have.
Then we do the second song while doing a waltz step. Stacy changes the direction randomly while we sing. Collisions occur. Many feet are stepped on. This morning Julia found a bruise on her toe which she doesn't remember getting...
That's all for this week! Should be some exciting stuff to come... Next week Julia performs her song, workshops her new scene, and learns to dance dance dance!!!
Love,
Jules
Monday
No Acting class, no sight singing class....why didn't we get this day off? Ah, 'tis the mystery that is AMDA.
Tap: We're starting in right away with some difficult new steps! Okay everybody, it's time for Traveling Triple Time-Steps (or, as I like to call them: A Step-Shuffle-Huh? Wait, Go Back...How Do You Do That Again?)!
Musical Theatre: Here's the mountain of paperwork you have to do for your first song. Any questions?
Then, to finish off the day, a rousing two hours at the library reading plays.
Tuesday
NO CLASS!! Whoot. Julia spends the morning sleeping, the afternoon seeing Superman Returns, and the evening on the roof of her neighbor's apartment watching fireworks. Ahh, NYC; is there anything better?
Wednesday
Jazz: I don't care if you have a hangover!!! Get up and dance, darn you!!!
Musical Theatre: Here are three songs, have them memorized perfectly by Friday.
Thursday
Voice lesson: Julia sings her musical theatre song
Voice teacher, a la Ben Affleck in Shakespeare in Love: Are you going to do it like that?
VPS: Once again we contort our bodies and are told to breathe. We're also told to curse our VPS teacher if we need to. We do.
Friday
Acting: Mary Katherine and Julia perform scene for the final time. Acting teacher's face remains inscrutable.
Julia: Do you think she liked it?
MK: I have no idea.
Ballet: The less said, the better.
Musical Theatre:
Stacy (our teacher): Today we're going to combine singing and dancing!! Okay everyone, get your tap shoes on and lets do it!
The song begins and Stacy calls out different tap steps which the class has to do while they attempt to sing the song. Class begins to feel faint after the third time...Have you ever tried to do a triple time-step while singing? Don't. You will probably die. I think I may have.
Then we do the second song while doing a waltz step. Stacy changes the direction randomly while we sing. Collisions occur. Many feet are stepped on. This morning Julia found a bruise on her toe which she doesn't remember getting...
That's all for this week! Should be some exciting stuff to come... Next week Julia performs her song, workshops her new scene, and learns to dance dance dance!!!
Love,
Jules
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
After a brief hiatus...
I'm back! I was in PA visiting my Mom, so I didn't get a lot of writing done, but now I'm back in NYC, and will try to keep my promise! The train ride back was, as usual, very very long. And as I stepped (finally) from the train onto the platform at Penn Station and felt a great belch of heat envelop me as if from the depths of Hades, I very nearly turned right around and got back on. But no, I continued on my dreary way, thinking longingly of the cool, shaded pool in my Grandmother's back yard, and wishing I could put my baby-soup-on (that's "bathing suit on" to those of you who don't understand baby-Julia speak) and jump in the deep end, head first.
I was further dismayed upon entering the subway, to find that someone had been sick over two of the seats and much of the floor of my chosen subway car. Ahhh, I thought to myself, New York City: Where the Heat and the Vomit are Free! But, as a wise man once said to me, repeatedly: New York's a tough place to live.
Anyway, as I said, I am back, and will continue to post regularly. I will finish off the AMDA adventures, then put up the Job Hunt Chronicles. I start my new job tomorrow, so hopefully this will also spawn a whole new set of stories!
Love to all of you! And to those who called me while I was in PA without my phone charger, I am deeply sorry and I will call you tomorrow...which probably means you will have heard from me before you even read this.
Jules
I was further dismayed upon entering the subway, to find that someone had been sick over two of the seats and much of the floor of my chosen subway car. Ahhh, I thought to myself, New York City: Where the Heat and the Vomit are Free! But, as a wise man once said to me, repeatedly: New York's a tough place to live.
Anyway, as I said, I am back, and will continue to post regularly. I will finish off the AMDA adventures, then put up the Job Hunt Chronicles. I start my new job tomorrow, so hopefully this will also spawn a whole new set of stories!
Love to all of you! And to those who called me while I was in PA without my phone charger, I am deeply sorry and I will call you tomorrow...which probably means you will have heard from me before you even read this.
Jules
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Adventures at AMDA part 1
For those of you who didn't get to read this when I originally sent it, here it is in all its glory! This was written at the beginning of my second semester at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, a sort of boot-camp/job-training for musical theatre performers. I've included two pictures from my time at AMDA. The first is my good friend Phil, looking like he's doing something private...the second (at the bottom of the post), is Holly (right) and Corinne (left) preparing for a dress rehearsal. Enjoy!
Week 1
Teachers conspire to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Julia almost gets placed in tap level 2, but teachers regain sanity just in time and place her in level 1, where she belongs. Julia can't pas de bourree, teachers place her in jazz level 1. Pirouettes are sloppy, but teachers take pity and place Julia in level 2 ballet anyway.
Sight singing teacher tries to move Julia up one level.
Julia: Really?
Prof.: Yeah.
Julia: (shrug)
Julia goes to sight singing 3.
Prof.: gibberish blah blah circle of fifths flibbertigibit
Julia: Um...no.
Acting class:
Julia volunteers to perform the first. Her partner, Mary Katherine, is less than pleased.
Acting teacher: Good. Sort of. Not so much. Do it better.
Julia & MK: Like this?
Acting teacher: No.
After much work, Julia and MK begin to catch on.
Musical theater:
Julia sings song.
MT teacher: Good. Don't do that thing you do.
Julia: You mean when I...
MT teacher: No, the other thing, but don't do that either.
Voice Production and Speech:
Teacher has us contort our bodies into strange and painful positions.
VPS teacher: Does it hurt?
Class: Yes.
VPS teacher: Good.
Next class...
VPS teacher: Are you sore?
Class: Not really.
VPS teacher: Then you weren't doing it right. Do this.
Class turns over onto belly, reaches behind to grab ankles and attempts to straighten legs.
VPS teacher: BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!
Class: (dies a little inside)
Friday:
Julia sits at her computer, feeling as though she's spent the last few days being chewed by a whale and then spat back out repeatedly.
Julia: It's good to be back.
Look for mor
e adventures coming soon!
Week 1
Teachers conspire to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Julia almost gets placed in tap level 2, but teachers regain sanity just in time and place her in level 1, where she belongs. Julia can't pas de bourree, teachers place her in jazz level 1. Pirouettes are sloppy, but teachers take pity and place Julia in level 2 ballet anyway.
Sight singing teacher tries to move Julia up one level.
Julia: Really?
Prof.: Yeah.
Julia: (shrug)
Julia goes to sight singing 3.
Prof.: gibberish blah blah circle of fifths flibbertigibit
Julia: Um...no.
Acting class:
Julia volunteers to perform the first. Her partner, Mary Katherine, is less than pleased.
Acting teacher: Good. Sort of. Not so much. Do it better.
Julia & MK: Like this?
Acting teacher: No.
After much work, Julia and MK begin to catch on.
Musical theater:
Julia sings song.
MT teacher: Good. Don't do that thing you do.
Julia: You mean when I...
MT teacher: No, the other thing, but don't do that either.
Voice Production and Speech:
Teacher has us contort our bodies into strange and painful positions.
VPS teacher: Does it hurt?
Class: Yes.
VPS teacher: Good.
Next class...
VPS teacher: Are you sore?
Class: Not really.
VPS teacher: Then you weren't doing it right. Do this.
Class turns over onto belly, reaches behind to grab ankles and attempts to straighten legs.
VPS teacher: BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!
Class: (dies a little inside)
Friday:
Julia sits at her computer, feeling as though she's spent the last few days being chewed by a whale and then spat back out repeatedly.
Julia: It's good to be back.
Look for mor
e adventures coming soon!
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