Hour One:
Woman tries on dress. Looks fabulous in dress. Says she has to think about dress. Yes, dresses are complex things, we must think about them carefully.
Stalk Adam Levine on twitter. Never really looked at twitter before...do not understand what # means. Adam Levine likes Crunchie bars, Eddie Izzard, Tina Fey...cried at Toy Story 3. ADAM LEVINE=SOUL MATE. Resolve to stalk him further. Check out Adam's girlfriend's twitter...she likes Twilight. She must die. Admits that Adam teases her for liking Twilight. Where's my knife?
Hour Two:
Alone. Utterly alone. Deirdre calls. "If you haven't had a sale by 2PM you should just close up."
Have to pee. Put "Back in 1 minute" sign on door. Lock door. Head for toilet. Get to toilet, someone tries to open front door. Head back to door. Let customer in. Watch customer walk around store, doing pee-pee dance inside. Ask if woman needs help finding anything. Woman: "I need a gift." Me: "OK, were you thinking jewelry? Clothing? A nice summer scarf?" Woman: "I don't really know..." Me (in my head): "Then I can't really help you, can I?" Woman leaves. Lock door. Run to toilet before someone else wanders in.
Hour Three:
Considering closing up...woman comes in. Wants to try many bathing suits. And bras.
Hour Four:
Woman still trying on bathing suits and bras. Tell her she is trying wrong size in bra. Give her correct size to try. She is skeptical. Several minutes later... Woman calls me "genius" because bra fits. Yep, that's me: Bra Genius. Woman buys bra and panties. Celebrate the fact that I actually sold something.
Halfway Through Hour Four
Almost time to close...maybe should just...woman comes in, squashes my dreams. Woman buys dress and necklace, dreams feel less squashed.
3/4 Through Hour Four:
Have slipped into alternate dimension wherein time stands still. Two girls come in. Hear one say "At least get in some AC for a minute." Great. Now people just coming in to get out of heat. Time to leave.
Five Minutes To End Of Hour Four:
Nancy (local clothing designer and overall eccentric) enters with dresses and tops she has made. Wants to chat a while. Die a little inside.
Five Minutes After End Of Hour Four:
Surprisingly, Nancy becomes conscious of time. Shut off music. Shut off AC. Shut off lights. Lock door. Close gate. Home at last. Spend rest of day watching Say Yes To the Dress. Imagine what will wear when marry Adam. Obsession has gone too far. Slap self in face. Self needed that.
