Heaven help you. I have just downloaded several episodes of Star Trek: TNG, and they now occupy a folder next to the Justice League episodes in Windows Movie Maker.
Run.
Run now, and run fast.
And far.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I'm already thinking about music selections...
OK, well I don't have music yet. But I have ideas, and you know how dangerous THOSE are.
And now I really ought to be asleep, so I'll leave the explanation of why I haven't been writing for another day. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just pretend these hiatuses...hiati...hiat - erm, what IS the plural for 'hiatus'? - don't exist.
Goodnight.
Jules
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I've Got Your Quirky Right Here, Buddy!
I see no one else is clawing their way into the guest blog arena. So you'll just have to deal with me and my nonsensical ramblings. I present to you a post I wrote in my notebook a while back and forgot to type up.
The incredibly nerdy just happened. (And, because I actually wrote this several weeks ago, you should ignore the 'just happened' part. Or go with it. Whatever you choose.)
OK, you know that I'm involved with a company called The Actor's Project or TAP, and that I perform in showcases with them, the purpose being to invite agents and casting directors to come see me and say, "Oooh. I want THAT one!" Or do you? Did I mention this? OK, well, now you know.
I've already performed in one showcase (I should mention these showcases are made up of original comedic monologues written by other members or the artistic director) and I'm currently rehearsing for another.
My previous monologue came fairly easily for me, but the new one was giving me a bit of trouble. Don't worry, I'm getting to the so-nerdy-you'll-laugh-at-me part.
Anyway. Every time I've done this monologue the director has told me that I need to go further, be more quirky.
What could possibly be more quirky than me, you ask?
Well, I was working on it and working on it and at the same time, watching a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Well, not at the EXACT same time, 'cause that would be distracting and no wonder I wasn't getting anywhere with it.
No, the two were not occurring simultaneously, just around the same time.
So, as I said, I was working on it, trying to make it quirkier, when I suddenly thought, 'Why don't I try doing it as though I am Data from Star Trek?'
I removed the contractions (which for some reason made it instantly 30% funnier), and made my speech more precise. It also changed the emotion underneath. The essence of the monologue is about getting people to like her and be her friend. For Data this is also very important because he reveres humans and yearns to be more like them. Suddenly, my need in the monologue had a whole deeper level to it.
The next time I performed it for the director he said it was perfect. "Don't change a thing."
The moral of the story: Forget what your parents said; watching ever increasing quantities of science fiction is NOT a waste of time.
Goodnight and sweet dreams,
Jules
PS-Thanks Mom and Dad for never saying that to me.
The incredibly nerdy just happened. (And, because I actually wrote this several weeks ago, you should ignore the 'just happened' part. Or go with it. Whatever you choose.)
OK, you know that I'm involved with a company called The Actor's Project or TAP, and that I perform in showcases with them, the purpose being to invite agents and casting directors to come see me and say, "Oooh. I want THAT one!" Or do you? Did I mention this? OK, well, now you know.
I've already performed in one showcase (I should mention these showcases are made up of original comedic monologues written by other members or the artistic director) and I'm currently rehearsing for another.
My previous monologue came fairly easily for me, but the new one was giving me a bit of trouble. Don't worry, I'm getting to the so-nerdy-you'll-laugh-at-me part.
Anyway. Every time I've done this monologue the director has told me that I need to go further, be more quirky.
What could possibly be more quirky than me, you ask?
Well, I was working on it and working on it and at the same time, watching a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Well, not at the EXACT same time, 'cause that would be distracting and no wonder I wasn't getting anywhere with it.
No, the two were not occurring simultaneously, just around the same time.
So, as I said, I was working on it, trying to make it quirkier, when I suddenly thought, 'Why don't I try doing it as though I am Data from Star Trek?'
I removed the contractions (which for some reason made it instantly 30% funnier), and made my speech more precise. It also changed the emotion underneath. The essence of the monologue is about getting people to like her and be her friend. For Data this is also very important because he reveres humans and yearns to be more like them. Suddenly, my need in the monologue had a whole deeper level to it.
The next time I performed it for the director he said it was perfect. "Don't change a thing."
The moral of the story: Forget what your parents said; watching ever increasing quantities of science fiction is NOT a waste of time.
Goodnight and sweet dreams,
Jules
PS-Thanks Mom and Dad for never saying that to me.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Sleep Is For the Weak
AAARRGH! I can't sleep. This is not good. Particularly not-good because I couldn't sleep last night either. I only got about 5 hours. Maybe. That's being generous.
I was sure I'd be passed out by now, but I've just lain in bed for 50 minutes with my brain going a mile a minute. My brain can be extremely loud when it is going-to-bed time.
Pause for tangent: Sometimes, particularly when I am working, I will think something not-so-nice about a person, (Hey, it happens, at least I don't say it out loud), anyway, often when I do this, I say loudly (in my head) "Julia Shaun Poyer! That was way harsh! Phasers on stun, dude." Does anyone else do this? (Not the 'phasers' part, I'm sure. That's something I started saying after watching a lot of Star Trek. See, I often shout at the screen, particularly when the characters are being stupid or the guest star is being mean.
Pause to further note that the regular characters are seldom mean to each other unless they are under some form of mind control, which is nice because that means they are all upstanding moral role models, but it also means that the guest characters are often rather abusive because they have to provide the conflict, and I find myself shouting things like, "Oh no she did NOT!" and "DooOOODE (which translates as 'Dude' only it is said with emphasis on the second 'ooo' sound, turning it into a two syllabel word)! Set phasers to STUN, man!"
I actually talk a lot during the shows. Not just to shout, but also occasionally to mock.
Let me further pause (and I realize that button is probably going to stick now because I have pushed it one time too many) to say that I mock because I love.
An example: Worf the Klingon will be standing in the background looking at some flashing lights (as he does in every episode. For that matter, so do a lot of the characters. Why is it so important to stand around looking at flashing lights and pushing buttons at random on a starship? I see that if I ever want to travel into space, I will have to learn these important skills. Furthermore, what the hell is a level one diagnostic, and why are they ALWAYS RUNNING ONE WHENEVER SOMETHING GOES SCREWY? CLEARLY IT DIDN'T HELP THE FIRST SIX BILLION TIMES YOU'VE TRIED IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL DO THIS TIME?)
ahem
Are you following this stream of concsiousness at all? No? Excellent.
What was I saying? Right, Worf. Both times I have typed his name I have typed Work and then had to correct it. My brain is unhinged, continue reading at your peril.
Worf (yes, I just did it again) will appear on the screen looking concernedly at his flashing lights and look up to say, "Captain, there appears to be a Romulan D'deridex class warship/Klingon Bird-of-Prey/Ferengi Marauder/unknown alien threat approaching. Suggest we go to red alert." I will then say, (in a fair imitation of Worf's voice) "Captain, my hair is looking particularly nancy-boy today. Suggest we break out the gel." Also, no one listens to Worf. I feel bad for the guy, really. Jean-Luc will ask everyone for their suggestions on what to do about that episode's problem, and Worf will invariably say, "I don't trust him/her/it," or "It looks dangerous, Captain. I suggest we shoot first and ask questions later."
"Well now, Mr. Worf," Jean-Luc will say with a smile, "Let's give him/her/it the benefit of the doubt, shall we? Sure we've seen evidence that she/he/it is a murderous, deceitful and dangerous being, but maybe it/he/she just needs to hug it out." Or, "Yes it seems like a very dangerous situation, we must send at least four of the main cast down there to check it out. Don't send any red shirts, just in case, but definitely send Wesley because none of the fans like him."
Pause: I like Wesley. There, I said it. The truth is out. I like Wesley Crusher. And now that they've sent him off to Starfleet Academy, I actually miss him. For one thing, he was really fun to mock.
There is a wealth of Star Trek information on Wikipedia. Am I surprised? No, not really. But I find it amusing that all the pages for Star Trek mythology have little boxes at the top which say, "Please verify this information and give us our respectability back." I have news for you, Wikipedia. YOU NEVER HAD ANY!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Am I tired yet? No. Wasn't there a subject I was pursuing way back at the start of this madness?
Eh, who cares. I also often say, "Oh, Jean-Luc. Hug?" And "Aww, Data, I heart you." And "Oh, Will Riker, rein in the smug, would you?"
It should, therefore, come as no surprise that I bought a dress from my store the other day.
Wait, let me explain in an order that is recognizable by the space-time continuum.
We got these new t-shirts in for fall. They're cute with some interesting seaming in the body, but nothing too special. Then, a regular customer came in, saw the shirt and said, "That's really cute. I don't know why, but it looks very Star Trek to me." Suddenly, it looked very Star Trek to me too, and in that instance I wanted it. Fortunately for me, I tried it on and it didn't look very good.
Fast forward to a few days ago when we get a new dress in. If the t-shirt sort of reminds one of ST, this dress positively shouts ST. I'm not kidding, I'll have to post a picture. I tried it on, and it looked good. I bought it.
Now, before you get all judge-y and start calling the Funny Farm, let me point out that I get a 50% discount (and this was already one of the least expensive dresses in the whole store) and that I've been looking for more dresses that I can wear in the fall/winter. It has a turtleneck, and I can wear it with my black boots. And it looks good on me. The fact that it looks very much like a Star Trek uniform is really just an added bonus. I'm going to find some little round pins to put in the neck to display my rank. I'm kidding about that part. Probably.
Must sleep. alksjdfpoialwe;fjl;a saifla ;ilwjali hgakzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I was sure I'd be passed out by now, but I've just lain in bed for 50 minutes with my brain going a mile a minute. My brain can be extremely loud when it is going-to-bed time.
Pause for tangent: Sometimes, particularly when I am working, I will think something not-so-nice about a person, (Hey, it happens, at least I don't say it out loud), anyway, often when I do this, I say loudly (in my head) "Julia Shaun Poyer! That was way harsh! Phasers on stun, dude." Does anyone else do this? (Not the 'phasers' part, I'm sure. That's something I started saying after watching a lot of Star Trek. See, I often shout at the screen, particularly when the characters are being stupid or the guest star is being mean.
Pause to further note that the regular characters are seldom mean to each other unless they are under some form of mind control, which is nice because that means they are all upstanding moral role models, but it also means that the guest characters are often rather abusive because they have to provide the conflict, and I find myself shouting things like, "Oh no she did NOT!" and "DooOOODE (which translates as 'Dude' only it is said with emphasis on the second 'ooo' sound, turning it into a two syllabel word)! Set phasers to STUN, man!"
I actually talk a lot during the shows. Not just to shout, but also occasionally to mock.
Let me further pause (and I realize that button is probably going to stick now because I have pushed it one time too many) to say that I mock because I love.
An example: Worf the Klingon will be standing in the background looking at some flashing lights (as he does in every episode. For that matter, so do a lot of the characters. Why is it so important to stand around looking at flashing lights and pushing buttons at random on a starship? I see that if I ever want to travel into space, I will have to learn these important skills. Furthermore, what the hell is a level one diagnostic, and why are they ALWAYS RUNNING ONE WHENEVER SOMETHING GOES SCREWY? CLEARLY IT DIDN'T HELP THE FIRST SIX BILLION TIMES YOU'VE TRIED IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL DO THIS TIME?)
ahem
Are you following this stream of concsiousness at all? No? Excellent.
What was I saying? Right, Worf. Both times I have typed his name I have typed Work and then had to correct it. My brain is unhinged, continue reading at your peril.
Worf (yes, I just did it again) will appear on the screen looking concernedly at his flashing lights and look up to say, "Captain, there appears to be a Romulan D'deridex class warship/Klingon Bird-of-Prey/Ferengi Marauder/unknown alien threat approaching. Suggest we go to red alert." I will then say, (in a fair imitation of Worf's voice) "Captain, my hair is looking particularly nancy-boy today. Suggest we break out the gel." Also, no one listens to Worf. I feel bad for the guy, really. Jean-Luc will ask everyone for their suggestions on what to do about that episode's problem, and Worf will invariably say, "I don't trust him/her/it," or "It looks dangerous, Captain. I suggest we shoot first and ask questions later."
"Well now, Mr. Worf," Jean-Luc will say with a smile, "Let's give him/her/it the benefit of the doubt, shall we? Sure we've seen evidence that she/he/it is a murderous, deceitful and dangerous being, but maybe it/he/she just needs to hug it out." Or, "Yes it seems like a very dangerous situation, we must send at least four of the main cast down there to check it out. Don't send any red shirts, just in case, but definitely send Wesley because none of the fans like him."
Pause: I like Wesley. There, I said it. The truth is out. I like Wesley Crusher. And now that they've sent him off to Starfleet Academy, I actually miss him. For one thing, he was really fun to mock.
There is a wealth of Star Trek information on Wikipedia. Am I surprised? No, not really. But I find it amusing that all the pages for Star Trek mythology have little boxes at the top which say, "Please verify this information and give us our respectability back." I have news for you, Wikipedia. YOU NEVER HAD ANY!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Am I tired yet? No. Wasn't there a subject I was pursuing way back at the start of this madness?
Eh, who cares. I also often say, "Oh, Jean-Luc. Hug?" And "Aww, Data, I heart you." And "Oh, Will Riker, rein in the smug, would you?"
It should, therefore, come as no surprise that I bought a dress from my store the other day.
Wait, let me explain in an order that is recognizable by the space-time continuum.
We got these new t-shirts in for fall. They're cute with some interesting seaming in the body, but nothing too special. Then, a regular customer came in, saw the shirt and said, "That's really cute. I don't know why, but it looks very Star Trek to me." Suddenly, it looked very Star Trek to me too, and in that instance I wanted it. Fortunately for me, I tried it on and it didn't look very good.
Fast forward to a few days ago when we get a new dress in. If the t-shirt sort of reminds one of ST, this dress positively shouts ST. I'm not kidding, I'll have to post a picture. I tried it on, and it looked good. I bought it.
Now, before you get all judge-y and start calling the Funny Farm, let me point out that I get a 50% discount (and this was already one of the least expensive dresses in the whole store) and that I've been looking for more dresses that I can wear in the fall/winter. It has a turtleneck, and I can wear it with my black boots. And it looks good on me. The fact that it looks very much like a Star Trek uniform is really just an added bonus. I'm going to find some little round pins to put in the neck to display my rank. I'm kidding about that part. Probably.
Must sleep. alksjdfpoialwe;fjl;a saifla ;ilwjali hgakzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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