Have To Laugh Or I'll Cry

I love to sing. And I especially love singing in a choir. I also love singing with the Park Slope Singers, the choir in which I sing. But sometimes, just sometimes, I hate singing in that choir. Tonight was one of those nights.

First of all, let me say that some of my frustration tonight was my own fault. We did a piece which we haven't worked on in a while and I haven't been as diligent as I should be in going over it at home. This is mostly because the last time we sang it I felt good about it and didn't think it needed a lot of work. That is, however, no excuse because the only way something is going to stay firmly lodged in you brain is if you continue to work to keep it there. So imagine my surprise when I suddenly found myself unable to find a particular note. And then I was unable to find it not just once, but every time after that. What the hell?! I had this!

So, yeah, partly my fault.

The other thing I hated tonight is the same thing I hate every choir night: Mrs. Tattletale. I call her that because that is what she does alllllll night long.

"Ira! Ira!" she says waving her hand (Ira is our conductor, by the way) "Someone in the soprano section isn't singing the right note here!" "Someone missed that cut off!" "Someone isn't singing staccato on that note!"

Yeah, I think to myself, and someone else is about to get my foot up her ass.

I learned how to sing in a choir with Ms. Bragg. And she would always say that you've got to sing no matter what. You can't be afraid to make a mistake. Because if you sing a wrong note, that can be corrected, but if you aren't sure of the note so you don't sing it, then you will never learn to correct your mistake. OK, she said it better than that, but you get the picture. The point is that I learned to make mistakes in rehearsals so that I can correct them for the performance. That's what rehearsals are for: making mistakes. And when you start raising your hand and pointing fingers like that you just make people afraid to make mistakes.

In other sections, people will raise their hands and say, "Ira, I'm not sure we're getting this note right, can we go over that section?"

Notice that everyone else says "we" thereby including themselves in the mistake. This makes it not about blame, but about fixing the problem.

Mrs. Tattletale also does this to other sections, by the way.

"Ira! The basses keep missing that note!"

WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN DAMN PART, LADY!

She will also make comments about how bad things sound while Ira is working with other sections, and how she doesn't like this music. SO DON'T SING WITH US. I promise we will survive (and thrive) without you.

OK, I'm letting it go now, I just had to rant a bit.

On a better note, work continues on my short story, though I ended up having to scrap two days worth of writing because the story went in a bad direction. Well, not bad, per se, just not where it should have gone. I was reading over some of what I'd written and realized that one of the characters wouldn't do something I'd had him do. It's all good now, I'm back on track and hope to finish it sometime this year. I hope.

One quick retail story before I go.

A woman was trying on these sandals we have (of which we sold 9 pairs this weekend, it was crazy!) when her son, daughter-in-law and their child came in. The son looked just like her, so I knew the other woman was her in-law.

So, I'm standing in the back to see if Woman wants to try another size or color when she asks Daughter In-Law what she thinks of the shoes.

Daughter In-Law says (and I swear this is verbatim) "I think you can get them cheaper someplace else." I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. She didn't even attempt to lower her voice. And by the way, I have been shoe shopping recently all around Park Slope and every store had either the same price or (more often) more expensive shoes of a similar variety. In fact, after seeing what's out there, I would put ours at the lower end of the shoe market in this neighborhood.

I walked away slowly because what I wanted to say was, "Yes, but here you get my fist for free!" and I wasn't sure she would take kindly to that.

But really, do you have to go out of your way to be rude? Even her husband glanced at me then muttered "Honey..." in an embarrassed tone.

The woman that was trying them on, by the way, would have happily bought them except that she was in between sizes. Also, this weekend when we were selling a million a minute, I would tell people the price and they would gape and say "Really? That's so reasonable!"

And I would say, "I know, isn't it!" And we would laaauugh!

I have learned many valuable lessons in NYC. Avoid the R train at all costs. Don't feed the pigeons. Never date a man that still rides a skateboard despite the fact that he's 30. But most important, invest your money in good shoes and handbags and they will last for many, many years. Otherwise you end up spending more money by replacing the cheap ones every season.

Goodnight folks. Sleep well.