Sleep Is For the Weak

AAARRGH! I can't sleep. This is not good. Particularly not-good because I couldn't sleep last night either. I only got about 5 hours. Maybe. That's being generous.

I was sure I'd be passed out by now, but I've just lain in bed for 50 minutes with my brain going a mile a minute. My brain can be extremely loud when it is going-to-bed time.

Pause for tangent: Sometimes, particularly when I am working, I will think something not-so-nice about a person, (Hey, it happens, at least I don't say it out loud), anyway, often when I do this, I say loudly (in my head) "Julia Shaun Poyer! That was way harsh! Phasers on stun, dude." Does anyone else do this? (Not the 'phasers' part, I'm sure. That's something I started saying after watching a lot of Star Trek. See, I often shout at the screen, particularly when the characters are being stupid or the guest star is being mean.

Pause to further note that the regular characters are seldom mean to each other unless they are under some form of mind control, which is nice because that means they are all upstanding moral role models, but it also means that the guest characters are often rather abusive because they have to provide the conflict, and I find myself shouting things like, "Oh no she did NOT!" and "DooOOODE (which translates as 'Dude' only it is said with emphasis on the second 'ooo' sound, turning it into a two syllabel word)! Set phasers to STUN, man!"

I actually talk a lot during the shows. Not just to shout, but also occasionally to mock.

Let me further pause (and I realize that button is probably going to stick now because I have pushed it one time too many) to say that I mock because I love.

An example: Worf the Klingon will be standing in the background looking at some flashing lights (as he does in every episode. For that matter, so do a lot of the characters. Why is it so important to stand around looking at flashing lights and pushing buttons at random on a starship? I see that if I ever want to travel into space, I will have to learn these important skills. Furthermore, what the hell is a level one diagnostic, and why are they ALWAYS RUNNING ONE WHENEVER SOMETHING GOES SCREWY? CLEARLY IT DIDN'T HELP THE FIRST SIX BILLION TIMES YOU'VE TRIED IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL DO THIS TIME?)

ahem

Are you following this stream of concsiousness at all? No? Excellent.

What was I saying? Right, Worf. Both times I have typed his name I have typed Work and then had to correct it. My brain is unhinged, continue reading at your peril.

Worf (yes, I just did it again) will appear on the screen looking concernedly at his flashing lights and look up to say, "Captain, there appears to be a Romulan D'deridex class warship/Klingon Bird-of-Prey/Ferengi Marauder/unknown alien threat approaching. Suggest we go to red alert." I will then say, (in a fair imitation of Worf's voice) "Captain, my hair is looking particularly nancy-boy today. Suggest we break out the gel." Also, no one listens to Worf. I feel bad for the guy, really. Jean-Luc will ask everyone for their suggestions on what to do about that episode's problem, and Worf will invariably say, "I don't trust him/her/it," or "It looks dangerous, Captain. I suggest we shoot first and ask questions later."

"Well now, Mr. Worf," Jean-Luc will say with a smile, "Let's give him/her/it the benefit of the doubt, shall we? Sure we've seen evidence that she/he/it is a murderous, deceitful and dangerous being, but maybe it/he/she just needs to hug it out." Or, "Yes it seems like a very dangerous situation, we must send at least four of the main cast down there to check it out. Don't send any red shirts, just in case, but definitely send Wesley because none of the fans like him."

Pause: I like Wesley. There, I said it. The truth is out. I like Wesley Crusher. And now that they've sent him off to Starfleet Academy, I actually miss him. For one thing, he was really fun to mock.

There is a wealth of Star Trek information on Wikipedia. Am I surprised? No, not really. But I find it amusing that all the pages for Star Trek mythology have little boxes at the top which say, "Please verify this information and give us our respectability back." I have news for you, Wikipedia. YOU NEVER HAD ANY!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Am I tired yet? No. Wasn't there a subject I was pursuing way back at the start of this madness?

Eh, who cares. I also often say, "Oh, Jean-Luc. Hug?" And "Aww, Data, I heart you." And "Oh, Will Riker, rein in the smug, would you?"

It should, therefore, come as no surprise that I bought a dress from my store the other day.

Wait, let me explain in an order that is recognizable by the space-time continuum.

We got these new t-shirts in for fall. They're cute with some interesting seaming in the body, but nothing too special. Then, a regular customer came in, saw the shirt and said, "That's really cute. I don't know why, but it looks very Star Trek to me." Suddenly, it looked very Star Trek to me too, and in that instance I wanted it. Fortunately for me, I tried it on and it didn't look very good.

Fast forward to a few days ago when we get a new dress in. If the t-shirt sort of reminds one of ST, this dress positively shouts ST. I'm not kidding, I'll have to post a picture. I tried it on, and it looked good. I bought it.

Now, before you get all judge-y and start calling the Funny Farm, let me point out that I get a 50% discount (and this was already one of the least expensive dresses in the whole store) and that I've been looking for more dresses that I can wear in the fall/winter. It has a turtleneck, and I can wear it with my black boots. And it looks good on me. The fact that it looks very much like a Star Trek uniform is really just an added bonus. I'm going to find some little round pins to put in the neck to display my rank. I'm kidding about that part. Probably.

Must sleep. alksjdfpoialwe;fjl;a saifla ;ilwjali hgakzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz