Julia's Job Hunt part 1

I dedicate this to Jenna, who is very good about posting comments to my blog, and because she voted for it. Hope everything is well in Korea, and that you are having fun teaching!

Also, a big CONGRATULATIONS to James and Kathleen: Engaged At Last!!!! We all knew it was only a matter of time...


And now, Julia's Job Hunt, or, Is This Really My Life?
Part one: The Temp Agency

Receptionist: Here, fill out this stack of forms. (hands Julia several forms with very small print) You can attach your resume to that when you're finished.

Julia: (thinks) Resume? (Sits down to complete forms. Doesn't understand most of what is asked, but does her best. Reaches section on employment record which says to list in order, starting with current job. Employment? Job?? LIST??!! Julia leaves this blank, completes the rest of the application and turns it in along with her acting resume. Then she waits.)

Receptionist: Julia? (Julia returns to desk.) You need to fill out the employment history.

Julia: Yeah, that might be a problem. I don't have one. (Receptionist looks sharply at Julia to see if she is trying to be humorous. She is not. Receptionist looks at acting resume.)

Receptionist: Oh. I see. OK, just wait over there.

Julie M (my contact at the agency): Julia? (Julia stands and waves, and Julie M. makes her way over.) What sort of job were you hoping to get?

Julia: Well, I know I don't have a lot - or, indeed, any - experience, but I'm pretty computer savvy, and I can type fast.

Julie M: OK... Let's have you take a typing test and see how that goes. The more skills you have, the better pay I can get you...(Julia takes typing test and Microsoft Word test.)

Julie M: (looking at results of test) Good! Very good. Come back to my "office", by which I mean "cubicle", by which I mean "really pathetic desk in the middle of nowhere without even any walls". Do you have any office experience?

Julia: Well, I spend a lot of time on my computer...

Julie M: Riiiight. Well, I could probably get you something in customer service. Do you have phone skills?

Julia: Uh, I know how to speak...

Julie M: Can you transfer calls?

Julia: I can learn...

Julie M: Hmmm. Well, don't worry, I'll find something for you. Maybe a light receptionist job. (She pauses to look at Julia) Really light. Call me every few days and I'll find something for you.

Julia: (pathetically) Thank you. (Returns home.)

Next on Julia's Job Hunt...Will Barnes and Noble ever get back to her? Will Julie M. come through and find her a job? Find out next time!

Adventures at AMDA part 3

That's right, people, here it is: the final installment. And I have the Job Hunt Chronicles back in my possession, so I'll be putting those up in due course. (I wouldn't want to overload you with all of them at once!) So without further adieu (it's pronounced 'ado'! And if you didn't find that funny, you didn't watch the youtube videos as instructed, and you are not allowed to read the rest of this post until you 'ado' it right now), part 3!

Voice teacher: Relax!
(Julia tries to relax)
Voice teacher: OK, now try it again with some energy.
Julia: ???

Theatre dance teacher: (placing objects such as a shoe, a water bottle, and a CD case on the floor) When you get to this mark, try not to trip over these things I've placed on the floor right where you are supposed to step. Instead, adjust your dancing minutely so that you do a box step around these objects. Then, when you come back from the other side of the room and are dancing backwards and have no idea where these things are, still step around, and not on them. Good luck.
Class: ??!

Ballet teacher: Everyone get a notebook, the heavier the better. Now, hold them above your heads and when you pirouette, straighten your arms so the book goes up, just like your body should. Do that several hundred times.
Class: !!!
Ballet teacher: No, you can't rest your arms! Do it again! And be grateful you aren't holding foot stools which is what my teacher made us use!

Acting teacher: Don't forget that 10-page character analysis you have to do.
Class: ...!

Musical theatre teacher: So, you guys have two final performances next week, but you have Labor Day off, so try not to work too hard this weekend. Take at least one day off.
Class: ...?
Julia: We're allowed to do that?

Last night:
Julia dreamed about performing her song and tap dancing, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!

Love,
Jules

Break out the pitchforks and put on your 'angry mob' face.

Yeah. So, I see from the poll that most people want me to move on to the Job Hunt Chronicles. Hold on, let me just check that my getaway vehicle of choice is in working order...yes, excellent. Here's the thing, folks, I don't have them on my computer right now. Well, I might have them somewhere, but I can't find them, so the point is rather moot. You see, I e-mailed them a while ago, and they are no longer in my sent mail, and I didn't save them to my computer... Go ahead, grab your torch and start singing "kill the beast"; by the time you get here, I will have made my escape.

However, I promise promise promise that I will put up Job Hunt #1 just as soon as my Mom e-mails me a copy. (Sorry Mom! And thanks for coming to my rescue...again.)

In the meantime, I suggest you head over to http://youtube.com/watch?v=av6fWfmugds and watch a delightful series of videos called "Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC." These are supposedly a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials of which I have a vague memory. Anyway, they are hilarious. I especially recommend this one: http://youtube.com/watch?v=azGhHh9mV_Q which has Batman and Spiderman comparing notes on who's had a worse life. Then there is the After Hours Series which shows the heroes sitting in a bar talking about the success (or lack thereof) of their respective movie franchises. Genius.

Still don't believe that you should head over and watch? Here's a little taste:

(Spiderman and Batman sitting at the bar)
Spidey: Hey Bruce?
Bats: What?
S: What's in that pocket?
B: (sigh) Brass knuckles.
S: And that pocket?
B: Laser cutter.
S: And that pocket?
B: Anti-toxins.
S: And that pocket?
B: Meow mix.
S: ......
B: It's personal.
S: Huh.

Now go! Watch! Be merry! Forget the things I promised you!
What? Who said what? I didn't say anything...

Are you still here? GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Jules

Accusations

Yes, yes, I hear you. "You said you would write something EVERY DAY!" And here I am, looking at my last post which says it was put up on Thursday. And it's Sunday. Well.
There's been a slight hitch, you see. I can't find the last AMDA Adventure...(Mom, a little help here? Two of the ones you forwarded back to me were the same). Here's the thing: the AA's were all on my old computer which has since died tragically in a small (or, I should say, large) coffee incident. I am a little hesitant to move on to the Job Hunt Chronicles until I have finished the other. So, let's put it to a vote. Using the poll, tell me what I should do. And if nobody votes, I'll just do whatever I want, (that is, after I have a little cry over the fact that nobody cares).

Kisses,
Jules

Adventures at AMDA part 2

Hmmm...rereading this one, I don't think it's one of my better pieces. Still, I promised to post it, so I will. I believe that I was becoming rather frustrated with AMDA at this point, so this story comes off as a little more angry than the others. Second semester wasn't my best...

Monday
No Acting class, no sight singing class....why didn't we get this day off? Ah, 'tis the mystery that is AMDA.

Tap: We're starting in right away with some difficult new steps! Okay everybody, it's time for Traveling Triple Time-Steps (or, as I like to call them: A Step-Shuffle-Huh? Wait, Go Back...How Do You Do That Again?)!

Musical Theatre: Here's the mountain of paperwork you have to do for your first song. Any questions?

Then, to finish off the day, a rousing two hours at the library reading plays.

Tuesday
NO CLASS!! Whoot. Julia spends the morning sleeping, the afternoon seeing Superman Returns, and the evening on the roof of her neighbor's apartment watching fireworks. Ahh, NYC; is there anything better?

Wednesday
Jazz: I don't care if you have a hangover!!! Get up and dance, darn you!!!

Musical Theatre: Here are three songs, have them memorized perfectly by Friday.

Thursday
Voice lesson: Julia sings her musical theatre song
Voice teacher, a la Ben Affleck in Shakespeare in Love: Are you going to do it like that?

VPS: Once again we contort our bodies and are told to breathe. We're also told to curse our VPS teacher if we need to. We do.


Friday
Acting: Mary Katherine and Julia perform scene for the final time. Acting teacher's face remains inscrutable.
Julia: Do you think she liked it?
MK: I have no idea.

Ballet: The less said, the better.

Musical Theatre:
Stacy (our teacher): Today we're going to combine singing and dancing!! Okay everyone, get your tap shoes on and lets do it!
The song begins and Stacy calls out different tap steps which the class has to do while they attempt to sing the song. Class begins to feel faint after the third time...Have you ever tried to do a triple time-step while singing? Don't. You will probably die. I think I may have.
Then we do the second song while doing a waltz step. Stacy changes the direction randomly while we sing. Collisions occur. Many feet are stepped on. This morning Julia found a bruise on her toe which she doesn't remember getting...

That's all for this week! Should be some exciting stuff to come... Next week Julia performs her song, workshops her new scene, and learns to dance dance dance!!!

Love,
Jules

After a brief hiatus...

I'm back! I was in PA visiting my Mom, so I didn't get a lot of writing done, but now I'm back in NYC, and will try to keep my promise! The train ride back was, as usual, very very long. And as I stepped (finally) from the train onto the platform at Penn Station and felt a great belch of heat envelop me as if from the depths of Hades, I very nearly turned right around and got back on. But no, I continued on my dreary way, thinking longingly of the cool, shaded pool in my Grandmother's back yard, and wishing I could put my baby-soup-on (that's "bathing suit on" to those of you who don't understand baby-Julia speak) and jump in the deep end, head first.

I was further dismayed upon entering the subway, to find that someone had been sick over two of the seats and much of the floor of my chosen subway car. Ahhh, I thought to myself, New York City: Where the Heat and the Vomit are Free! But, as a wise man once said to me, repeatedly: New York's a tough place to live.

Anyway, as I said, I am back, and will continue to post regularly. I will finish off the AMDA adventures, then put up the Job Hunt Chronicles. I start my new job tomorrow, so hopefully this will also spawn a whole new set of stories!

Love to all of you! And to those who called me while I was in PA without my phone charger, I am deeply sorry and I will call you tomorrow...which probably means you will have heard from me before you even read this.

Jules

Adventures at AMDA part 1

For those of you who didn't get to read this when I originally sent it, here it is in all its glory! This was written at the beginning of my second semester at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, a sort of boot-camp/job-training for musical theatre performers. I've included two pictures from my time at AMDA. The first is my good friend Phil, looking like he's doing something private...the second (at the bottom of the post), is Holly (right) and Corinne (left) preparing for a dress rehearsal. Enjoy!

Week 1
Teachers conspire to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.

Julia almost gets placed in tap level 2, but teachers regain sanity just in time and place her in level 1, where she belongs. Julia can't pas de bourree, teachers place her in jazz level 1. Pirouettes are sloppy, but teachers take pity and place Julia in level 2 ballet anyway.

Sight singing teacher tries to move Julia up one level.
Julia: Really?
Prof.: Yeah.
Julia: (shrug)
Julia goes to sight singing 3.
Prof.: gibberish blah blah circle of fifths flibbertigibit
Julia: Um...no.

Acting class:
Julia volunteers to perform the first. Her partner, Mary Katherine, is less than pleased.
Acting teacher: Good. Sort of. Not so much. Do it better.
Julia & MK: Like this?
Acting teacher: No.
After much work, Julia and MK begin to catch on.

Musical theater:
Julia sings song.
MT teacher: Good. Don't do that thing you do.
Julia: You mean when I...
MT teacher: No, the other thing, but don't do that either.

Voice Production and Speech:
Teacher has us contort our bodies into strange and painful positions.
VPS teacher: Does it hurt?
Class: Yes.
VPS teacher: Good.
Next class...
VPS teacher: Are you sore?
Class: Not really.
VPS teacher: Then you weren't doing it right. Do this.
Class turns over onto belly, reaches behind to grab ankles and attempts to straighten legs.
VPS teacher: BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!
Class: (dies a little inside)

Friday:
Julia sits at her computer, feeling as though she's spent the last few days being chewed by a whale and then spat back out repeatedly.
Julia: It's good to be back.

Look for more adventures coming soon!