Wednesday, August 19, 2009

CAPS LOCK JULIE

I've started a new story. Don't think I didn't hear that collective groan. "Why, Julia?" you say, "Why are you telling us about YET ANOTHER story that you will NEVER FINISH?"

"No," you continue, holding up a hand, "I don't want to hear about it. You will only tease me and never let me read it."

I'm sorry, I have to interrupt your protestations to tell you that I am at work and I just looked out the window for a bit of inspiration and I saw a girl walking with her boyfriend across the (very busy) street and she is NOT WEARING SHOES. I hate to use a newfangled expression, but the only thing I can think of to describe how I'm feeling is: WTF. PUT SOME SHOES ON YOU NUTCASE! THIS IS NYC, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S DOWN THERE. RATS HAVE PROBABLY POOPED ON THAT PAVEMENT.

Whew. She's gone. I feel better now.

Where was I? Oh right, I was telling you how you feel about my starting a new story. Don't you love when I do that? You have NO CONTROL. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ahem.

The caps key is getting quite a workout today.

Hmm, that reminds me of another post that I have partially finished in the little notebook I carry with me everywhere I go. It was about guest blogs. I wanted to offer my readers a chance to write a post of their own! Now, I know that some of you already have places to ramble incoherently just as I do (actually, you people tend to ramble much more coherently than I...) but for those of you who don't, I offer the use of my blog. Do you have something on your mind that you'd like to get off your chest? (If so, you are probably confused about anatomy. Why not blog about it and let us share in your confusion!) Perhaps Elizabeth would like to share her bookmark story? It would go nicely with my bra strap story. No pressure. I'm just putting it out there.

I am now severely off-topic. That's the problem with not thinking things through before I start writing. YOU NEED A PLAN JULIA!

It's a sci-fi story (surprise!) but humorous. Not at all serious science fiction. It's about a rather cowardly bunch of space-cargo-moving-sometimes-illegal-smugglers-sometimes-legal-shippers-sort-of. Confused? As am I. They're like UPS, but in space. And sometimes on the wrong side of the LAW. "The LAW will judge YEW!" *Snork*

It's from first-person perspective. How do I know this? That's just how it appeared in my head. I 'heard' the main character's voice speaking to me quite clearly. She's a mechanic.

We call him the Alien because, well, he's an alien. Also, no one can pronounce his actual name. If you were to write it it might look something like this: Hurmnrkk. Saying it involves a great deal of teeth grinding and gargling with broken glass. In other words, I wouldn't recommend it. We also call him Granite for his stony appearance and demeanor. And sometimes Chatterbox for the way he never says a word. Seriously, I think I've only heard him speak a handful of times in my whole four years on board. Most of those were "no", "yes", "perhaps", and "please". Generally, he just sort of looks at you and grunts. A lot of the security guys are the same way, but that's because they have more muscles than brains. Somehow, I don't think that's the case with ol' Granite Face. His race is known for their intelligence. How the hell he ended up with this motley crew, I have no idea. I started to ask him once, but he just blinked at me.
That could probably use a bit of editing, but I just wanted to give you a snippet because I'm mean.

Deal with it.

JULIA OUT.

3 comments:

mom said...

another laugh out loud ( there should be an acronym for that (lol)) post !

F. Radcliffe said...

I could tell the bookmark story, but I have a much more recent and harrowing story about a bug that I think you might like. Can I interest you in that, instead?

Jenna said...

nice post- cool snippet of a story. I want to know how you know the voices in your head are characters from stories and not just you going crazy. I haven't had time to start harassing you with phone calls with school starting up this week and everything. BUT- I expect to see you while you're out here!!!