Audition Guilt

Ugh. I was hoping to get back into a regular rhythm with this blog thing, but then, of course, I procrastinated. Here's the thing: I'm going to the NY comic book convention this weekend. (I know, I know, my geekdom has reached a whole new level.) And, not only am I going (BY MYSELF!), but I am SO excited about it, I'm honestly not sure if I can wait until Friday. Seriously. I think I might combust. And here is why this translates into me not blogging: GUILT.

See, I have been feeling like a big loser lately. Heck, I AM a big loser. I headed into the new year with intentions of auditioning, and while I've made several steps in the right direction, I still haven't, and now January is over and I feel like I'm running out of time and my life is out of control and I'm driving through Dallas without a map and my car has broken down in the middle of a 4 lane highway and...you get the picture.

There are good explanations for my not having auditioned yet this year. For one thing, there is NOTHING to audition for, right now. You think I'm exaggerating. The next batch of auditions that have been posted are all for the second week of February. I don't know if the entire theatre community just decided to go on holiday, or what, but it is creeping my out. My roommate and fellow actor, Rachel, assures me that this is generally a slow time for auditions, but that they'll pick up soon, and then there will be tons.

And while this is all true, I still feel like there is something more I should be doing. I look through the posts on Backstage.com, and just feel more and more depressed. "African-American female", "Unfortunately we are not seeing any female performers at this audition", "Must be fluent in ASL", "Must play an instrument", etc. I didn't make these up. I was just looking at the auditions before I started writing this, so this is honestly what people are looking for. That being said, I did find an audition I want to attend in March, and I submitted my headshot and resume to two others which were "by appointment only". Hopefully, they will get back to me.

(Relieved sigh) Well! That wasn't so bad. See, my audition-guilt has been stopping me from blogging because I wanted to blog about other things, but felt like there was this huge cloud hanging over me, obscuring the keyboard and preventing me from typing freely. But now it's out of the way (though it's still hanging on my back, but, so long as it hangs quietly with a minimum of poking, I can tolerate it) I can talk about what I really want to talk about.

I'M GOING TO NY COMIC CON!

It's the 6, 7, and 8. I asked nicely for the time off from work, and, lucky for me, Annette just got back from Germany and is feeling guilty for being away and making Deirdre and I work more (not that we're complaining, Annette is just so nice she can't help but feel guilty), so they said "yes" without hesitation.

To be continued...