Rules For Subway Surfing;
Or, How To Stay Healthy In New York By Not Touching the Germ Infested Poles
- Don’t Be Afraid To Move Your Feet. Keep it loose and easy, don’t plant your feet too firmly or you will lose your balance.
Wear The Right Shoes. They should be comfortable, without too high a heel, and a good grip on the bottom.
If You Fall, Pick Yourself Up And Act Like You Meant To Do That. See Felis Catus for examples.
Don’t Be Afraid To Cheat. Lean against the door if you have to, I know it says, “Do Not Lean” but that’s just for the tourists and the perpetually uncool. You’re not one of them, are you? I didn’t think so.
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Stay Alive. Just think of those poles as plague-infested rats, and if worse comes to worst: Purell it.
