The Story of My Death Part 1

Here we go...wind are you ready?  There is some caution coming your way in 5...4...3...2...

Yeah, so, this is the story I've been working on/complaining about/ putting off writing by doing really productive procrastinating (I've talked to you about that before right?  It's where instead of doing the thing you ought to be doing you do something else that is actually productive and useful, such as cleaning your apartment, but still not what you are supposed to be doing.).  It's not finished.  I can't promise that it will ever be finished.  I'm also pretty sure it's not very good.  I mean, I like it, but I'm totally biased.  And with that rousing endorsement, I'm certain you can't WAIT to read it.  So with absolutely no more ado, here it is:

Oh, wait, before I do that, I did want to direct your attention to the right hand side of the blog, where you will find a place to put your email address so that you will get an email whenever I update this blog!  HUZZAH!  You no longer have to periodically check to see if I've updated only to be disappointed!  I have entered my own email address and will be putting this service to the test with this blog.  So yeah...  Onward.

The Story of My Death

June 19, 2011

            Whoever said dying was easy has clearly never been through the experience.  You see, for some of us, it’s not as simple as lying down, closing our eyes, and drifting off into nothingness.  Well, not for me anyway.  I’m a vampire.  Correction: I’m THE vampire.  As in, the only one in the world.

            Listen, I’ve watched just about every cheesy, fang-bearing, stake-shoving, cross-waving vampire movie ever made.  I’ve also read every book I could get my hands on, and while some land closer to the mark than others, the one thing that nobody has gotten right is the fact that there can only be one vampire in the world at a time.  See, the process of making someone into a vampire involves the maker dying and passing along their vampireness to the makee.

            Yeah, it sucks (excuse the pun).  Not only are you a member of the undead, destined to roam the earth drinking the blood of the species you once called your own, but you have to do it alone.

            I was always afraid of death.  I suppose that’s a big reason why I chose to become the vampire when it was offered to me by the current one.  His name was Mirkus, by the way.  He said he chose me because I was strong; strong enough to endure immortality.  He also said I would know when it was time to end it.

            That time is now.  This is the story of my death.

            Mirkus was a little crazy.  He couldn’t take immortality, watching the world change as he remained the same, separate from it.  The vampire before him had already descended into madness when he made Mirkus vampire, and Mirkus told me he hadn’t been ‘chosen’ so much as he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.  He said he was never meant to be vampire, and that he didn’t want to make that same mistake.

            He searched for years for someone he deemed “worthy”.  Don’t ask me how he found me or what he saw in me that made him confident I wouldn’t crack after the first few hundred years.  He said he wanted me to “last”, that it was the only way the vampire could learn and evolve.

            So, what have I learned?  Hell if I know.  Maybe that’s why I wanted to write this little memoir, to reflect on the lessons of my life.

            No, sorry, that’s bullshit.  I don’t want to tell you about my life at all.  What did I say?  “This is the story of my death.”  If it were the story of my life, it would be a hell of a lot longer.

            I’ve lived for 3481 years and in that time I have learned many secrets of the universe, but I never learned the secrets of the afterlife.  I was born in the year historians call 1470 B.C., just three years before Hatshepsut became pharaoh of Egypt, and Egyptian religion was my first guide to the mysteries of death.

            I’ve studied every religion, large or small, desperate for answers, and I have found none.  I suppose what I fear the most, is that I will simply become nothing.  Or maybe that would be a relief.

            You might be asking why, if I am so terrified of dying, I would choose to end it all in the first place.  It’s a question which requires a complicated answer, (too complicated to go into here) but the simple answer is: I have found my replacement.

            I wasn’t looking for him.  I was walking the streets of New York (excellent city for a vampire, New York; you can be surrounded by people and still be alone), when I saw him.  Took me completely by surprise.  But I knew he was the one.

            Now I just have to convince him of that.  Others have discovered what I am before, and it’s never ended well.  They either go mad, try to kill me (and no, stakes and crosses won’t do it), or beg me to “turn” them.  Any relationships I’ve maintained with mortals have had to be carefully orchestrated to be sure they never learned the truth about me.  These relationships didn’t last, for obvious reasons, but I enjoyed them anyway.

            But back to my replacement: Grayson Finch.  How do I know he’s the one?  I could get all mystical on you and say I got a “feeling” but the truth is I see myself in him.  He’s adaptable, curious, creative, and…terrified.  I’d recognize that fear anywhere, especially now, when I feel it so keenly.

            The hard part (after convincing him that I am what I say I am) will be giving up this world and all its wonders.  I have plumbed the depths of the oceans, mapped the deepest jungles, and seen the best (and worst) of humankind.

            I was always an explorer, eager to learn the secrets of the world, and being indestructible allowed me access to the remotest regions.  You would not believe the shit that lives down at the bottom of the deepest oceans.  I don’t have to breathe, so I tied rocks to my legs and just let myself sink.  Animals generally go out of their way to avoid me, but I met some monsters of the deep that didn’t care what I was, only that I was in their territory.  I can’t wait for humans to develop the technology which allows them to dive that deep.  The things you will discover…too bad I won’t be around to see it.

            And the jungles – you think you’ve put a name and a label on just about everything, but you haven’t even scratched the surface.  The number of species of spiders alone is enough to blow your mind.

            And how about when you lot start conquering other worlds?  Who knows what the universe will offer.

            There it is, I’ve gone and made myself depressed.  It’s time to go out, anyway, so I’ll pick up this narrative tomorrow.  I’m going to hunt, and then I’ll check on Grayson.  I’ve just watched him so far, I want to be sure he’s really the one before I do anything rash, but I’ll have to speak to him soon.  I have to move quickly, before I lose my nerve; but still, there’s time enough to savor the end, maybe visit a few old haunts, “put my affairs in order” as you mortals say.

            Tomorrow, dear reader.