In which I digress...

I was just at the grocery store where I purchased some figs. For one thing, I thought I remembered that figs usually ripen in fall, so I thought I should grab them now while they're good. For another, I remembered that children's book, The Sweetest Fig about the guy who eats these figs which make his dreams come true, but then his dog eats the fig and they end up switching places so the dog could exact his revenge on the cruel master. And that's how it ends. Overall, kind of a creepy and potentially traumatic children's book. Not unlike The Brave Little Toaster. Has anyone seen that movie? IT'S FRIGHTENING. No wonder I turned out so weird. I watched that thing a hundred times. It was my favorite movie for a while, and it's SERIOUSLY intense. It may also explain my propensity for connecting with inanimate objects. Friends find it strange that my computer has a name (Blake Williams Poyer) and that I often speak to and sometimes stroke Blake when she's having trouble performing certain tasks. I just found one of the creepier clips from BLT. HA! "BLT" isn't that funny? I didn't even realize, I was just being lazy. Anyway, check it out.



See what I mean? Who wouldn't be traumatized? Apparently a lot of the founders of Pixar worked on BLT. No wonder I loved it.

But I was talking about figs. I can't recall ever having eaten a fig before. Fig Newton, yes, but not a fig.

Does anyone remember those Fig Newton commercials where somebody bites into a cookie and the loudness of the crunch ruins their day, so they have a Fig Newton instead. Ah yes, Fig Newton, for those discreet cookie eaters. Because heaven forbid you might make a noise while snacking, never mind what it tastes like. And for the record, I've never really cared for Fig Newtons. It's a polite cookie. The sort of thing you eat when offered at a party, but don't offer to take any home with you.

Figs, on the other hand, are quite good. I ate one while I was blogging just now. And they're small. A nice pre-dinner snack.

Wow, this whole post has been complete tosh, hasn't it?

Meh.

See you next time, dear readers.

Jules

PS- I got some great ideas on my monologue from Elizabeth (apparently she's the only one willing to be honest) and I will update with a newer, better version soon. Also, it will have a real ending. Ta ta!